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Why I'm changing my channel. Youtube - Fulfilment vs Content

Every time I sit down to make a video I just stop. I just changed my channel last month.
Videos I'm most happy with = Robocop. Why we celebrate_?
Videos I don't care about = Most other videos.

Am I going to feel more fulfilled getting views and comments
or
Am I going to feel more fulfilled making good content.

Why do I want views and comments?
Younger = Popularity, Pursuing a dream, Attractive.
Older = Attractive, Hang out with Youtubers, Considering viability of dream, MONEY. Being your own boss.

Hurdles/Delusions.
Younger = Got to make better content, make popular meme based content, collab or get a tweet from smosh.
Older = Feel like the sites developed to hold down small channels, missed my window. Main issue cant get people to view it. Content changed to this fast food formula and im to stubborn to match it. Focused on money rather than good content. Think my contents way better than it actually is.

Benefits to change:
Growing as a person and channel, it hasn't worked in a decade... change it.
Doesn't match my current interest... change it.
Doesn't excite me... change it.
My channel = a great second channel. It's like a meal, where's the meat? you've got all the veg. or you know the big slice of halloumi or umm.. kale? a kale steak?
By changing I am admitting FAILURE, this was a 10 year journey that for all purposes failed and for the first time ever I think i'm fine with that and ready to move past that.
Maybe the content isn't going to be life changing but if I feel like each video provides a service then i'm happy.

Trying to sell myself but not fully committing, look at Alpha.M, he could sell water to a swimming pool.
I'm not nailing down a persona, i'm trying to be 10 different things at once all the time, which speaks to my character as a person. You have Adam Neely, expert... etc. expert... These channels all do one thing.
There content has purpose. It's fulfilling to watch... and I imagine... it's fulfilling to make.

Pursuit of Fulfilment:
Work/Life balance. - Disturbing this = lack of fulfilment.
     
 
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