Notes

i know you're sleeping right now, but i wanted to write about you to you again, or at least ramble since its been a while
itssss 2:00 in the morning ew
i dont really know what i want to talk about, i just know that i wanna ramble
you.
sleeves, leni, lily, bob, babs, babes, angel, flower, universe.
you.
i love you, so so much.
like more than i can put into words. more than could fit into any book. more than i love anything or anyone. more than bean and more than fruit snacks and more than myself but that part isnt hard.
i've never really felt special or, um, like a person really? i've always felt like a ghost in a way. like i dont matter and no one can see me and i'm just here, floating around all by myself with no one to talk to and no one to be myself around.
but now i know you and now i feel special and i feel like i might actually mean something to someone and i feel like i matter at least a little bit now. i love talking to you, i love listening to you, i love looking at you and thinking about you and dreaming of all the somedays with you, even if they might not all come true.
i love everything about you, from physical things to mental things to your feelings and your heart and your everything. i love you with my everything.
you mean so much to me. you make me the happiest i've ever been. you make me laugh and smile until i can't stop. you make me look forward to waking up because i get to wake up to talk to you again and i get to just talk to you about anything and everything.
you are the absolute best and i dont know what i would be doing or who i would be if it weren't for you.
i used to hide my feelings a lot. i still do, but not to you. with you i can be myself and tell you anything good or bad. i don't have to worry about what you think of me or what you'll say.
and i mean i do worry a little but that's just because i am me and i worry about everything.
but you're not like some stranger on the internet i guess is what im trying to say. i dont need to worry about you judging me and talking bad about me to other people.
i dont need to put on a happy mask all the time for you.
you've seen the best and the worst parts of me and yet you are still here and that means the world to me, you dont understand.
you are my home.
you are what makes me me
you are beyond perfect and beyond beautiful and beyond anything good imaginable.
because you are you and you are the best
you're a human, you're not a robot. you have feelings and although sometimes they are not the best of feelings, they make you who you are and i love every part of you.
i wanna be here for you whenever you need me to be. i dont want you to have to worry about bothering me or talking too much or anything like that because that will never happen. i love talking to you about no matter what and i love that you're weird and not normal but thats what makes you even perfecter.
mom says weird is good, and it really really is. at least when it comes to you because you are the best type of weird. normal people are boring anyways.
this ramble kind of has no point to it. i guess i'm just trying to say that i love you so much and i am so in love with you and all your feelings and everything about you and everything that makes up you.
i love you
i really really do
with all of my everything
and i promise you that will never change
i will always love you no matter what you do or what you say or what anyone else says
you're the love of my life and my one and only
you're my babs
so i love you okay
i really really really do
and i am so in love with you

xoxo
- a sleepy rambling weirdo