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LETTING GO.
I have spent too much time worrying, feeling worthless and not good enough, getting jealous, crying, wanting to die, and waiting for you. I will wait no more. I have already stopped crying. I need to work on the self-worth thing still, but that'll come with time, I'm sure. I don't know why I held on for so long. What did I expect to happen? That one day you'd wake up and realize that you can't live without me? That you'd decide to stop stringing me along because you are, all of a sudden, in love with me the way that you know I'm in love with you? Well, that's just fucking stupid. I can't make you love me. I can't even love myself, for fuck's sake.
Our daughter will be here soon. I don't know what to expect from you as far as being a father is concerned, but I know what it means for us. You aren't going to be anymore into me just because I'm carrying your child. Even when my body rips open, I will be no more important to you than I was before.
I know that I'm not her. I never was her, and I'll never be her. I wish that I was someone you were proud to show off. I wish that I didn't embarrass you. I wish that you liked me.
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