Notes

Well.. You have been honest with me so it is only far that I'm honest with you. You have told me how you feel about Sam, so it is my turn. You know I love you, nothing is ever going to change that. You said you think Sam is going to take me off you.. Well that is never going to happen okay? I'm being serious, I'm in love with you. I'm that in love with you that I make these little scenarios in my head that your feelings have changed. I over think like there is no tomorrow. You are way too good for me, I don't care what you say or think.. It is true, your too good for me. It breaks me down when I think of myself without you. It honestly does. I just won't be able to cope, you are the person who has literally kept me alive and I know for a fact that if I lose you, I won't be able to cope with life. Your the only thing that keeps me going. When I think of girls getting close with you and they make you happy, it hurts a little. I know it shouldn't and I know I can trust you, I just don't know what goes on in school, do I? Not to say anything does happen because they probably don't, I just mean like there are so many girls that are actually perfect in your school, I don't know how you can just not like them?? I mean you are actually gorgeous, there are obviously girls who are going to have feelings for you and get close with you, there is nothing I can do about that.. I just need you to remember that I'm here. Thinking about you constantly. Loving you even when your not here. You are my life Billy. Right, I just need to say this.. You have been honest about Sam so here it goes.. I think I'm going to lose you to Radka. Don't be annoyed, you must obviously understand. She is perfect, you can't even deny it. You have even said in the past that she is the most beautiful girl you have ever seen. You see this girl every single day. Where am I? On the other half of the fucking country!! I can't stop anything that happens.. Radka is beautiful, funny and seems like a lovely girl, why wouldn't you think she's perfect? I just can't afford to get hurt again. After what happened with Ben, it has changed me. Yes you have changed me back to the way I used to be, but there is always going to be that part of me that hurts. Even now. I just can't let that happen again. I know you aren't like that but I'm just scared that you are going to leave me for her:'( She's so much better than me, plus you will see her everyday wouldn't you? I just can't lose you, I'm sorry:'(:'(:'( I'm in fucking tears writing this so I can't carry on. I'm just sorry:'(:'(