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10:00 AM (5 hours ago)
to me
Hey
It's alright that you told your dad. Trust me, you didn't break my trust. He was bound to know at some point anyways. I'm more concerned about your mental health, though. It may not seem like a big problem to you, but I think you should go see a psychiatrist or just let your PCP (primary care physician) know about it. I know you're skeptical about doctors and such, but they really want to help you. It's always uncomfortable talking about all of these things at first, but trust me, it gets easier. You most likely have an eating disorder and really bad anxiety, but I'm not a professional. Please go see someone and talk to them about this. It doesn't just go away in a week. It'll come back to bite in the ass and it will be worse every time it does. Trust me when I say this: I know how it feels and it's the worst possible feeling, but a doctor or psychiatrist will really help you. If not that, then start with a therapist. As long as you've told someone professionally that's all I need. If you don't like your psychiatrist, fire them until you find the perfect one. If you don't like your therapist, replace their unworthy self . Whatever you need to do, just please get some help. I'm thoroughly concerned about you, Tweety. I don't want you suffering through this alone.
Please don't find this irritating, they really help, and if you keep resisting I will push it back to you until you agree. I'm not giving up on this. I've let you deal with this for far too long, and I regret not telling you to get help. Doctors are not superficial and just doing these things because it's their job. There's a reason they even bothered to go into the field. It may be surprising, but they all most likely dealt with a mental illness, eating disorder, anxiety, etc. They know what they're talking about and how it feels. Plus, no one's perfectly sane, everyone has some kind of mental quirk. But don't think for a second that you don't deserve it or that you don't have a problem big enough to seek professional help. I know for a fact that this will only get worse.
Please, Tweety, get some help. If not for yourself then for me and everyone who genuinely cares about you. My romantic feelings for you may not have completely gone away, but I love you platonically. I can say that for sure.
Missing you ;;
,,,^..^,,,~
(It's a cat looking over a fence with a paw on it. It's kinda hard to tell, but I though it was cute xP)
Wrena Sproat
11:08 AM (4 hours ago)
to ESY
I know the doctors care. Why become a doctor/phychiatrist/therapist if you don't? I just want to handle stuff on my own. I may think about calories a lot more than "normal" people do, but it's not really eating disorder status outside my mind. Five minutes ago I ate two bowls of cereal, some animal crackers, and a brownie. I may *want* to eat differently, but I willfully can't. Also, I'm planning on buying a FitBit so I can track what I eat and what I burn and finally have some data. It'll hopefully encourage me to eat more healthy stuff instead of all cereal, and also I can prove to you that this is mostly just a mental problem with the stats. If you can, Google Buzzfeed's "We Trained Like Superheroes for a Month" video. If I can exercise somehow (a gym is ideal but gets complicated with parents) and stop eating every carb I see, I could "achieve my goals" or whatever in a couple months. It really isn't an eating disorder so much as a desire to lose weight that turned into counting calories when I saw no other option. And even that failed anyway.
I don't know about the anxiety. I don't usually feel *worried* per se, I don't really know how to describe it. And that's just sometimes. I don't know. Words are hard. You could be right, I don't know.
I know I can figure this out on my own though. Involving someone else would mean explaining a ton of stuff (not to mention to other people) and usually by the time I figure out how to put something into words, it'll have changed in a couple weeks. I'm really bad at identifying what I'm feeling and
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