Notes

Dear Mom,

It seems as if the time has come for me to write a letter to you. I would like to start out by realizing that the product is on the pricey side. I am happy to concede that. However, as you will soon see, it still makes sense for you to buy it for me.

First of all, the product is FAR better than Gold Bond. I have used gold bond many times, and tried a bunch of their different products. It does work a bit, but not super well. It wears off after a couple hours. I've seen videos and read reviews of the Chassis product and people worship it. Many people have the same complaints as I do with Gold Bond and claim that the Chassis product has alleviated them. I would not have put an $18 dollar item in the cart and asked you to buy it if I hadn't done my research. I don't like wasting money, and you know that.

Second of all, I'll admit I was wrong about the price of Chassis being cheaper than Gold Bond. A 4 oz. container is more expensive at Safeway (where I'm used to buying it) than it is on Amazon. My mistake. However, it's only $6 cheaper to buy three 4 oz. containers for half a year than it is to buy one 4 oz. container of Chassis for half a year. Plus, as I have already explained, the Chassis is far more effective according to almost everybody. Even if it doesn't last a full half year (although people really claim that to be true), it is a small price to pay to be comfortable every day in school when I'm sitting down all day.

This whole scenario is like buying a matress. People spend 1/3 of their life asleep, so investing in an expensive matress is fine because it's an important thing to get just right. Well, if you'll accept that idea, as I'm sure you will, it is egregious to NOT spend a little extra money on a good ball powder. My comfort on a day-to-day basis is obviously important to me, as I'm sure it is to you. So, if there's something extra that could significantly improve my comfort each day, it seems wise to do it. Furthermore, matresses are only for 1/3 of your life. Well, I have genetalia for 100% of my life and hopefully it stays that way.

If Chassis isn't much better than Gold Bond, rest assured that I will not buy it again. I do not like spending your money for useless things. Also, I find it the silliest thing that when I buy something, you pretend to be a miser. Yet, when left to your own devices, you buy random things all the time. Please do not pretend to be what you aren't. Also, didn't you buy a nice plug-in hair trimmer? That is a personal grooming product that I'm absolutely sure was north of $18. But, I have NOT THE SLIGHTEST PROBLEM with your purchase of it, because it increases comfort on a day-to-day basis. This paragraph is not intended to be an attack on your spending habits. It's your money; do what you want with it. I am simply pointing out the irony that would undoubtely arise if you chose not to buy me some ball powder. It is something that I need. Therefore, I think it is the best plan of action for you to buy me ball powder and for me not to have to spend money on it myself (you are virtually Bill Gates compared to me). Please do not take this as a personal attack. Do not be sour about this. I am in no way ordering you to spend money on this ball powder, but it seems the most reasonable thing to do, and I am trying to convince you of that.

Have fun in New York and I missed you this morning because I forgot you were going.

Love,
Brian W.