Notes

“Emi, Emi!” I hear Lilliana calling in the distance and her little stompy-like footsteps race down the hallway. I smile as I pop my head out of the door.
“What is it?” I ask sweetly, and Lilliana is smiling and beaming at me like she’s a genius. I know that look, she’s thought of something amazing. And when she has a great idea, it’s actually a really, really good idea. She’s extremely smart and knowledgeable for a little seven-year-old.
“I… I want to tell you my favourite colour!” She’s so happy, she’s about to burst. “But I only want you to know, Emi!”
“Sssssh, ssssh!” I teasingly whisper, with a finger over her lip, “You don’t want other people to hear, don’t you?”
She laughs. I love when children laugh, especially if it’s from Lilli. “Oops! But can I come in and tell you?”
I nod, open the door more to let her in and shut it back again as she gets herself comfortable. “So, what is it you wanted to tell me about?”
“Well… My favourite colour is a rainbow.” She slowly sways her head around and sits on my bed.
“That’s really cool.” I pull up a chair and sit down. “Do you have a reason why, or do you just like it?”
Lilli looks up at me. “I have a reason. A big reason.” She extends her arms out like she’s going to hug someone, to emphasise how big it is. Isn’t it nice when children do that?
“How big?” I keep smiling.
“Really, really big.” She smiles back, and looks at me in the eyes, like she’s daring me, but then her voice drops very quietly. “Do you want me to tell you?”
“Yes, please.” I nod, leaning in. She’s serious. Usually the secrets and things she tells me are her opinions about other people, which are quite little, and always understandable in her position, and I keep them for her. She trusts me to such a huge extent, and it almost becomes that I’m her mother, and not her older sister.
“The rainbow is my favourite colour… because…” She hesitates for a moment, before continuing. “There are people out there that love girls, even if they are a girl, or if they love boys and they are a boy. And I think the rainbow… it represents that. I think.”
“It does.” I reply. I shouldn’t be surprised that she knows about this, considering how much gay couples and marriages are becoming a big thing in this day and age. She’s asked me about it before, but she never found it weird or strange, which is the most amazing thing about my sister. She doesn’t find anything weird or strange, even though kids like her would normally be very judgemental about everything, normally being the key word here. She’s not normal, she’s just herself.
“And… and… Um… I… I think I like girls. Like, I like this girl at school…” She’s embarrassed about it, and I understand why. Clearly there must be things going on at school that’s preventing her from free talking about it.
“That’s okay, Lilli. Sometimes, people like boys and girls. That’s fine and normal.” I tell her.
“B-But… would Mum be mad?” She whispers even quieter.
I hesitate. “…I don’t know, actually. I might ask her. But, I won’t tell her your secret.” I whisper, and try to stay positive at that last part.
“And the rainbow is a really, really cool favourite colour, too.” I reassure. I don’t want her to go back to what she was doing on a sad note. She smiles too, and we have a warm little hug before I let her go.