Notes

Someone once asked me a question that did i ever feel that no one understands me? like i have a secretive inner world no one can ever see, like it seems so difficult to fit in. So much so that, there are times that you get invisible to people. Like you have shared things in your best tiny possible ways, but you fail to make a point, or they were met by a judgement, or maybe even flipped around back at you. Sometimes you say things and all you get is "be yourself. Do what your heart says" but does that mean anything? What does being yourself mean? It definitely means that in that process you are going to make many people unhappy. A part of all of us is of being able to connect and belong to somewhere. It is our biological need to be liked, to belong somewhere. Not that it means to fit into some kind of box and identically be like everyone else. Most of the time either we are too afraid to have an opinion and say it out loud because we know it will be met with glaring gazes, or we just simply are too tired to make a point. As someone, who mostly struggle with explaining what I feel, I can say we try too hard to explain what we feel to others rather than explaining it to our own self. I want to ask you one question- Are we sure about our feelings when we talk about it. No, we aren't at least I'm not, but still we do, partly because our biological need to connect and mostly because while we are talking about them to someone, we in the process figure out for our-self of exactly what we were feeling. Although I do wish that for once in life I was seen and appreciated for who I am, rather than being told to be who I’m not. Told what I “should” change, that I need “toughening up”, be more extroverted; don’t worry just talk; just this, just that. Mostly after having few tough experiences, we all understand certain things about our selves which are unique, which may never change or better which you may not want to change despite disapproval of people around you. When we figure those things out, there is a tiny tiny possibility that when we share, we might be right about the inhibitions. But on the flip side, you may completely be wrong about them. Well, its a weird may be or may not be situation. So, what do we do? Well I think, when you have a blessing of a listening ear- TALK, it may or may not help in exact way you want to. But, it definitely will be a step forward to figuring out your own emotions. Yes, you are a complex being, but do you think you really have to take the responsibility of everything on your own shoulder when you can really share that. Once in a while, it is no wrong to be helped, rather its a blessing. So appreciate that you are blessed to have someone who can listen, and trust them and your own that you are a sensible being, just in the process of figuring some complex things in your own simple way. Breathe and calm down, not everything has to settle today.