Notes

Today was interesting... i mean i came to school feeling like shit, and i ended school feeling like shit. today was definitely not my day. i begin the day by totaling failing in spanish 2 honors and 2 periods later gym sucked too. i mean i ran 400m in 1 min 55 secs and i seriously felt like dying. 4th period rolls around, and i totally payed no attention to it at all. i am going to fail that class at this rate. 5th period comes, and i go to lunch. i honestly felt horrible. a unusual feeling was growing in the inside of my body, and i wanted to throw up. i go to the nurse and i tell her im sad, this leads to going to her office and crying my eyes out. i tell her how the aja pack is mad at me and how teah is mad at me as well. i seriously couldnt handle it. luckily, the nurse was nice enough to listen and give me some advice. she even gave me iced tea which was really sweet of her. she recommended me to go to this psychological clinic thing and i dont really know if i want to. we decide to call mrs.massey and ask if she can help me. i leave the nurses office and i even got my poem printed out. which was seriously fantastic. skip over to 7th period, i start feeling a bit normal again. at the end of the period, i am called down to see mrs. massey. i go to her office and then tell her practically everything (but not the thing that started this) she gives me even more advice, and she helps me create a plan to talk to althea. i text her and ask althea if shes coming to bhs after school today. she goes "im outside" and when we look out the window, she already is. shes with jade, jesus, and bryan. i start to feel a mix of excitement and panic. i then respond and ask her if we can talk alone, she says "sure" i tell mrs. massey and then the bell rings so she wishes me luck. i literally rush outside because i suddenly have a burst of confidence. i was going to get this over with. i walk up to their group and then jade pulls me aside so i can help her find aly's locker. i oblige and help her. i get to alys locker, and it seems like theyve gone to teah's instead. i wait there for a while and then decide to wonder off. i do this for like 20 minutes. every time i found althea, she was busy talking to someone else. so i decided to just wait for her to be alone. when i came in contact with them again, they were all standing by aly's locker, and then teah starts walking towards her own locker. so i decide to approach her. i asked her why she was mad at me and she didnt respond, so i tell her "is it because i didnt talk althea yesterday?" and i continue with saying something like "this isnt fair, there were other people there so i couldnt exactly approach her" and she goes "who cares if theres people" i say "i care!" and i keep on rambling other stuff. i i then say "if this happened to you wouldnt you want things to go on your terms" (something like that) and then she responds with something like "this wouldnt have ever happened" and then she just walks away. to say i was hurt is like seriously an understatement. next time i see them is by the main office in the commons area. i was talking to one of my friends and then all of a sudden teah comes up to me and touches my hair and then says "so what are you gonna do" and she was acting like she didnt even act cold to me or anything. like everything was normal. so i tell her imma talk to her and she goes off back to them and tells her but she never comes back. i didnt even give her permission and she did it anyway. then the 4 or 5 of them walk off, but before i walked off as well, we saw them look back at me. the sophomore and i decide to just head to the pep rally now. we get inside after we pay, and wait/sit down for awhile then aly and teah comes out of nowhere. like literally stand right in front of us. then aly finally directly says something to me, she says "you missed her" and i look at them like really confused and teah goes "althea left already" and i was like "what do you mean?" they say she left because it was getting late or something. i couldnt believe it. seriously, i couldnt. i thought she was gonna go to the pep rally or something or wait till pep rally was over. i was planning on talking to her when she was all alone, but she was never alone! so i text her and find out she had to pick up her sister aleana at rwb. i asked her "why didnt you tell me" and she said i "disappeared" or something. so she figured i went to pep rally (which i did) but i was gonna go outside for her. then she leaves. so i never got to talk to her. i go to the top bleachers and tell aly and teah if they can get althea at the carnival this friday. aly says she isnt sure and probably not. we had to move seats and then i look back at them again. i think i asked teah why shes mad at me again and again she replies really coldly. so i tell her "whats with the attitude" and i again say "this isnt fair" either she stopped talking to me and looked away or i just turned back around. that was my pep rally day. oh yeah althea and i settled for saturday.