Notes

Ok, most of the deli stuff I post about I can easily deflect. But this is the one thing that really gets to me:

A woman walks up and pulls a number. There are 4 people at the counter. When my co-worker gets to her a half minute later, she orders a couple of meats from her. I then finish waiting on my customer.

The woman - who is already being waited on - then comes up to me and asks me to get her some things. I said, "I'm sorry ma'am, I'm not supposed to wait on you if another clerk already is."

That explanation wasn't good enough for her, so she said, "Why?"

I said, "Because we're very busy - if another customer walks up, and we're all waiting on you, then that customer has to wait longer to be served, which isn't fair to them."

She said, "But you're not doing anything."

I almost lost it at this point. Clearly, she doesn't give a damn about anyone else. And in the 15 seconds I had free between this ridiculous conversation and my previous customer, I had managed to fill two empty salad bowls in our destroyed salad case. In fact, as she said that line to me, I was HOLDING A 10 POUND BUCKET OF MACARONI SALAD UPSIDE DOWN OVER A BOWL IN THE PROCESS OF FILLING IT.

The point aside that if every deli clerk on duty all gave their undivided attention to every customer, absolutely nothing would ever get filled, cleaned, packaged or made, because at almost every minute of the day there's at least one customer at the counter, and the point I made about it not being fair to the next customer if we all waited on her, the next thing she did really sent me over the edge.

Her husband walked up, and she proceeded to say to me, "Here's the next person!" and whispered to him, "He won't wait on me. Tell him I want a half pound of chicken salad and a half pound of American cheese."

At that same moment, three customers all walked up and pulled tickets. But the husband of The Most Important Customer in the World came up to me and ordered her salads, all while my coworker also continued to slice her deli meat.

Meanwhile, the rest of the store waited in line behind her

Guy says "and give me a slice of cheese on the side for my son."

I turn around, hand him the slice, and finish what I was doing. When I look back two seconds later, the little kid is staring at me from the carriage, and the father has his own mouth wide open lowering the whole slice of cheese in like a construction crane.

He must have planned on regurgitating the cheese for his son like a bird, I suppose... Although if that part happened, I didn't see it.

50-something year old customer just sampled 8 salads. EIGHT.

With every one she acted as if it was the first time she's ever tasted plain potato salad, chicken salad or spinach dip.

She bought two quarter pound packages. Although she said all 8 were "delicious."

I can't stand people that think the deli is Old Country Buffet. There were six people waiting too actually order product while she was having her private tour of our salad case.

And speaking of throwing things on the ground, I'm shocked by how many people carelessly toss their number tickets on the floor like they're peanut shells at a ballpark. And even more shocked by how many people put them down on the counter 2 inches from the bowl that says "TICKETS PLEASE."

A guy pointed 50 feet across to the other side of the deli counter towards 6 roast beefs and said he wanted "that one." Really, he was pointing towards the produce department. Needless to say, I had no clue what he wanted.

Speaking of pointing, a woman pointed at a sign on the other side of the deli counter and said she wanted "this meat." Since I can't read through walls, I said, "Which one?"

Rather than just read the size 30 font bold text back to me, she ripped the sign off the counter and pointed to it. She was nice enough to place it on top of the counter for me to fix later instead of, I don't know, throwing it on the ground.

A women ordered "Half pound of the Boar's Head turkey." I said, "The Boar's Head Ovengold roasted turkey?" She said, "Yes."

I sliced it, gave it to her, then sliced her next two items. Before she walked away, she said, "You sliced me the wrong thing. I didn't order turkey. I wanted the Boar's Head Deluxe ham. You gave me the wrong meat."

As I sliced her ham, the customer behind her, who clearly heard the whole exchange, rolled her eyes and winked at me, knowing that I had done nothing wrong...

A guy ordered 8 different deli meats, 12 pounds in all, from me in one breath. When I started slicing his first item, he tried to order a pound of cheddar from my coworker who was clearly in the middle of helping another customer.

Two customers at the deli started talking about how absurd the impending Sakonnt Bridge tolls are. Two more quickly joined in. After the original two left, three more came to the counter and added to the conversation. Eventually, none of the original starters of the conversation were around, but it continued through about 5 generations of customers over the course of 30 minutes - about 30 people in all that I directly observed.

I've never seen anything like that happen before. A conversation being started in one location and continuing to go on through different people, uninterrupted, a half hour later.

Shows you how frustrated people in Portsmouth are with their idiotic state elected leaders.

A lady early this morning ordered a quarter pound of "the turkey and cheese on sale." After playing detective to figure out which ones she meant, I completed her order quickly.

I said, "Anything else I can get for you this morning?"

She responded, "Nope."

I said, "Thank you very much, have a great day."

She responded, "Huh-huh hah hah" and started to walk away. While walking, she fake laughed louder, "Huh huh hahahah. HUH HAHAHA" for about 30 feet until I lost sight of her.

Shocked, insulted, confused, and angry, I stared into the distance for a good solid minute and contemplated humanity.

A customer at 7:02 this morning ordered ham and mayo on a bulkie roll - with red potato salad on the sandwich.

I don't recall seeing that on the menu as an optional topping, but since we're making up rules as we go along, I made the sandwich.

I'd prefer that, if the customer wants to be a weirdo, they order a small container of potato salad and put it on the sandwich themselves. Why make me be an accomplice to your assault and good sandwich making?

I've never gone to McDonald's and said, "I'll have a cheeseburger. And put an apple pie on it."