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some times i just wish i was a little kid. i just wish i had a happy family, i know i have to be strong for other people in my family but its hard. i just wish there was a way for my feelings to just disappear and never come back. i get so fustraed with my dad, he expecces me to do everything easily and hes sick and i have to be strong for him so he doesnt die before i turn 21. i dont know what id do without him. He saved me from the abuse and hes just amazing. i miss my mum so much but i cant let her back in my life because it will go back to back fighting and i cant take anymore, i just wish i had a normal family, im at a chritstian, im confised about the god thing, every teacher is saying im slackinmg and i wish i could tell them, "you have no idea what im going through just give me a break already" and i know i am slacking a bit. im tired, im tired of everything, i dont want to get out of bed. ive got friends at school and they take my mind off how fucked i am. i just wish i was normal. i cant change the past but i wish i could and maybe things would be better. or maybe it will be better if i was never here.

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