Notes

At tonight was in a very aggrivated mood-think it had nothing to do w/me! He caled us 4 x's today and no one called him back! Last night we nvr heard rm him as he fell asleep---I cld get an attitude but where wld hat get me? No where! I am justball alone-he doesn't want me to come home as it costs nothing to stay here!! I am alone every night and he stays home and drinks and has dinner! That is his perogative and he is on his own!! He works mon thru wedns and I have thurs-Mon for myself! I need to create a new lifefor myself and I am sur if I ty hard enough it can be very rewarding!! In so many ways but first I need to get past all the trauma my body has been thru for the las 3 weeks-cyst c1-pmeumoia ccp-blood clots-hemoglobin loss-basically I almost died one more time! I get so nervous as each time I seem to get closer and closer!! I really need to be in close cotact w/Paula and Jeffrey! I need to listen and hear how they can explain we get so close (This form of pneumonia seems to be lethal but no one seems to transfer the threat to my livelihood! Why isn't there some major warning! This last time I ctually cld not breathe-I was suffucating not realizing possibly I might not pull out of i and at that point it is too late!! I know Jeff knows the point of no return (weathr on vacation or not) Sometimes it is just a phone call but I realize a holiday weeke
and trying to get all on board but this lst time I feel a few very impy people were amiss and everyone is pointing the finger. SORRY I think I am so so tired and trying to second guess everyone which is a job I do not want! There are also so many other things going on that i am sure U R not aware of which is fortunate for U. Anyway I just wanted to B in touch and let you know that i do care and try to do all I can to get ME BETTER or maybe that s not possible but i will not allow myselftomgo there!! Cell 1 203 247 9601 home 203 761-9880