Notes

Dear Aunty Mummy, (If you are not mother of a girl name Greta Sclafani, then stop reading. Now)

Please read this to the very end. Don't stop because you don't like what you hear. This is very important, I am having feelings that i need to talk about and I want you to understand. This letter could help to improve our relationship and make it stronger. The truth is, I love you, no matter what.
I will write a list of things and you can read through them. This will be easier than talking about it because when I am writing I can put down how I really feel and think about it instead of saying some random dog poo. I just want you to know that I hate it when I am trying to talk to you about something but you tell me you don't want to talk about it and walk away. I need to talk about these things and I can tell you have feelings about what i'm saying but I want you to know that I love you and nothing will change that. Its just that I don't want to spend countless hours crying anymore.

1. Why I am crying. First I want you to know that since Tuesday night I have cried before falling asleep. Its quite obvious I am having many feelings. All of which are dismal and troubling. Not to mention stressful. I am missing my friends and please do not tell anybody but I am terribly upset about parting with Zahara, she is the only person I will really miss and never forget.

I just want to say, I have to part with my friends-the most supportive people I have ever met and probably the coolest, I have to get over daddy leaving (I am still suffering from that) I will have to get used to Granny. She does act rather different at times. But I also sometimes feel a little sad when I think about the fact that some other mums might 'care' more. (I am sure you care just as much, more even, but you might not show it quite so easily) Especially since I am going through hard times, I want to feel loved.

2. Do the other mums care more?
This is something I wonder. I always here other kids say things. I will give you some examples. 'What the hell, that is the dumbest rule ever. When I tell my mum she's gonna be so mad.' I hear that one a lot.
'My mum was so mad she was gonna talk to the school about it but I told her not to, that would just make the situation worse' Well, that one makes me think, my mum would never talk to the school about anything, she wouldn't want to get involved, am I even important to her
'My mum didn't want me to go, she was too scared I would hurt myself' or 'When I got back from Gillwell park me and my mum were hugging each other and crying, she said she would never let me go again cause she missed me too much,' this made me think, ' my mum didn't even shed a tear when I got back. In fact, whenever I'm crying over the phone when I talk to her from Italy, she tells me to stop Crying, 'come on...' that's what she says to me =c

3. Sometimes when I am talking to you, you look so annoyed and bored. I remember on Sports day, when you were coming out of the clinic after school, I was telling you about the races and how I did in them and you had a frowny face and you were sighing like I was so boring. Well, I remember seeing Zahara across the road and she was talking, enthusiastically while her mum listened and I could hear her mum laughing and talking. That didn't make me feel too good..

4.Another reason (this wont be too much longer, I can tell reading about my feelings is boring you) Anyway, if someone was being a very mean person and had kicked me, and i retaliated by pinching them and I told you about it after, you would not say anything about the other person any further than 'I understand they started it' or 'I know what they did upset you' and then you would kind of go on to tell me that I should not of retaliated or that I should of walked away. A lecture. Then you would say you WERE sticking up for me but another mum would hug their child and ask to see were the wound was and would then kiss them and tell them it was all going to be ok and that the other person was such a jealous idiot. That wold make me feel truly loved. =c

5. I am just really going to miss my friends and the truth is, I feel like I need to be comforted and yeah, I want to talk about things with you. Oh, by the way, what you didn't understand about me saying, 'call my teacher an idiot' was that I didn't mean for those to be your actual words, but when I told you about the teachers being mean to me, you kept trying to explain, why the teacher was telling me of but the thing is, the teacher is not always right and no matter how stressed they are, they can't take their anger out on kids. I don't need you to tell me why I was told of, the reason I was telling you what happened was so I could feel like someone understood what had happened and so I could explain what had happened, like me and my friends backchat a out the teaches. I definitely did not want a lecture.

Anyway mum, I will still love you, I just don't want us to become like this
Child: comes home and spends their life in their bedroom eventually getting anxiety because of the stupid, tiny reasons I am writing to you.
Mother: has drifted away from the child and has no actual love towards them, only does things cause she feels like its her duty as a mum.
That all seems highly unlikely but the little things really make a difference.

Anyway, how about you try to be a little less grumpy and try to understand what to do to make me fell more loved using my examples from this letter.
I try to be more helpful to you and do what you say straightaway without being asked twice, showing complete respect to everyone and doing all my chores and schoolwork.
Give me a hug when you get back from work today to show you think we should both try. Talk to me about anything you disagree on.

Lots and lots of love,
Gretsie xxx