Notes

wanty know something, a think am ready to hit rock bottom, am fed up repeating the same shit over and over again, ave lost almost every job that ave had, am no good enough for anycunt, am forever arguing with ma maw and da, a feel like they used me as a practice run, they are slowly edging me out the door, constantly at me about getting ma own house, forever telling me a only care about maself!!, ma heads fried!, a just forever feel like shite and its no fair, ma happiness never lasts for long, a understand why yous look at ma mails and snapchats and dont reply, cause am a clingy cunt but like a said, ave no got anycunt else pals wise, ave actually got nothing left, nothing going for me and a hate telling yous aw this cause its no good for yous either and its probably doing your nuts in too and a understand why!, am always the last one invited out but the first to give plans if ave got them, a can see it in yous that yous are exhausted with me, like when yous went to that lassies house wae allie and conner, even tho a was told a day later! from allie that i could have went even tho i was working id have still came and sat, thats why there was no snapchats of yous all like you normally do alex cause you know id have seen them, when ian told me he felt rotten that a wasnt there at hers with yous on tuesday i peiced it all together, a wasnt wanted there by anyone, thats why noone cracked a light to me that a could have came and sat, once again am left out, usual but, a want ian to treat me the way he treats tam and morgan annat thats aw a ever wanted fae him, and a want you to treat me the way you treated allie, ave tried this for months, am hard work, in all honesty a wanty go to sleep and no wake up!!, ave felt like this for a while, cause a feel like a wouldnt be missed by anyone, its funny cause this isnt wee boy carry on this is 100% serious, a try so hard, more than a probably should, a think ave got depression, but a canny face ma own mam wae ma problems without crying so how could a talk to a doctor a wouldnt know what to say, a wanty be close wae yous but am just pushing maself further apart and a feel like yous arent bothered, a love yous tae bits, more than a did wae shannon and brandon, a dont even know what to say anymore cause ave acc sat here greeting trying to write this for the past hour, sorry its a bible to read but aye, am fed up putting on a fake smile everyday, a canny keep up, i dont even know anymore