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Why do I do it exactly? Why do I cut? I do it to control the pain, my pain. My way. Without the medications. To feel. I need to see my imperfection spill out of me, feel it. I wanted to see it, feel it. But at the same time I can't look. I control every aspect of my anger, how it appears in my skin. How long it lasted. I could start a fire and put it out at my will. The soft red, or blue. Parallel. Roughly the same length. The pain. My mother, her abuse. My uncle, his suicide. My best friend, her sadness. "Can I be you?" They would ask me, but now that you know this how do you think of me now. The monster behind the "pretty" face. The psychotic child who knows too much for her own good. But, hey.
I'm burning blue.

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