Notes

so I just broke up with bella. and right now, I'm devastated. I don't know what to feel right now, as all of my emotions are crumbulled up into one big cluster fuck of feelings. I'm upset, I'm mad, I'm confused, and a whole bunch of other shit. I hate feeling this way, the feeling of lonlieness, the feeling of being lost. you know what I'm talking about. the feeling you get when you think that no one cares for you anymore. when the only people in your life that you either trust or love just disappear? yea, you know exactly what I'm talking about. anyways, I can ramble on and on about this. I mean, I loved the girl. she is great. shes beautiful, actually understands me, the whole nine. but she texted me today saying that we had to talk. I knew this would be coming up, just not this soon. we weren't even 2 months into our relationship. she said that she doesn't want to have the thought of being in a relationship anymore, so that's why she is breaking up with me. which, to me, makes absolutely no fucking sense. how don't you want the feeling of being in a relationship? its one og the best things that you can feel. knowing that someone actually cares for you the same way that you care for them. makes no sense to me. but whatever, the girl just feeling I guess. she says that I'm all these nice things, but just loses feelings for me. whatever. there are plenty of fish in the sea. but the thing with that is that I still love her. I asked her that at any point if we an maybe get back together. she said maybe. fingers crossed. till next time...