Notes

So I know this is a weird time and seems like out of no where but just bear with me. I had a type of relationship with someone who I will not name, and she really liked me and I liked her. We got close and she wanted to date and I thought I wanted to but I always hesitated and was mad at myself for not liking her as much as she liked me. I realized because it was because I still had feelings for you. You probably get that a lot, understandably, and this is probably just as uncomfortable for you as it is for me, I'm sure this is the last thing you want to hear. I know I already major major messed everything up between us, so I mostly just wanted to say sorry, for not believing if you liked me, for overreacting about everything, for ruining what could've been a really great thing for both of us. That day on the bus was probably one of the best moments of my life, I wish I had my shit sorted out before then. Anyway, main moral of this sob story is I don't want to drive you away because of our past, I still want to be how we were before, all the pics I still have on my phone of us facetiming late and laughing, you even making me sing, and the bus rides we had every day making me like you more and more. I can't change what happened in the past or change how you think of me now, but I'd really like another chance to at least be friends, because you really were my best friend before I messed things up. You don't have to respond to this, but you should at least know how I feel. If you do choose to be friends again, I can only promise to be brutally honest about everything that's happening with me, no matter how weak it exposes me, because then I can't hide behind a guise of cockiness and acting like I'm something different until I crack. I really do think I've changed and I'm hoping I'll have a chance to show you that. The end. Again, sorry for sending a long paragraph, I hate making things seem like huge deals and to act like I'm really sensitive but I wanted to be honest, if you're just not interesting and think I'm being weird as fuck (rightfully so) then just delete this message and forget what I said 🤷🏻‍♂️but I can't help myself if I care about you, so sorry, but this is already as exposed and weak as I can show myself to anyone, so I'm hoping you'll find some light in here somewhere :)