Notes

'Im only 17, i've got a whole life ahead of me. I hated school because of the people who discredited me, my boyfriend tries to show me that it isn't how it seems, but everyday I just get lowered with my self esteem. he lets me know that every night has a brighter day, i even try to overdose and take my life away..im feeling there, just sitting beside my bed, then he takes his hand and places it beside my head, he tries to hold me but with every touch I still resist, then he sees the scars that bury deep in my wrists. i'm feeling numb, he tries to beg and pleed and ask me why, I say this is the only way to control of pain inside, he's asking me how long I felt this way, because you've got me here feeling so damn helpless, I say its been a while and I guess I need better luck, then he screams at me and tells me 'baby never cut'.. Nobody seems to get me, I feel i'm on my own, but I hear: listen pretty lady you don't have to be alone, so baby don't cut, baby don't cut, you can do anything just promise baby you wont cut. I know my heart id hurting, I think the road has end, I always feel that the blade i'm holding is my only friend, but baby don't cut, baby don't cut, you can do anything just promise baby you wont cut. the next day at school i'm feeling better than the day before, even cracked a couple smiles as I walked the corridor, but it all seemed to end. I dropped my books when I walked into class, and every student in the room just seems to point and laugh.. I couldn't take it anymore I sent my boy a text, I said: I love you with my body, heart and sole to death. he thought nothing he typed: I love you and sent it, by death he didn't know that I literally just meant it, I ducked my next class, ran home into my bathroom, thought to myself I wouldn't break my promise that soon, one cuts, 2 cuts, 3 cuts, 4...the blood just started dripping from the tub to the floor, my boyfriend had a feeling in his stomach that he hated, he followed it, ran down to my house.. he never waited, the front door was open he heard the water running. he stormed into the bathroom and his heart just started gunning.....Nobody seems to get me, I feel i'm on my own, but all I hear is: listen pretty lady you don't have to be alone, so baby don't cut, baby don't cut, you can do anything just promise me baby you wont cut. I know my heart is hurting, I think there is a end, I only think that the blade i'm holding is my only friend, but baby don't cut, baby don't cut...you can do anything just promise baby you wont cut, he put my arm around his shoulder, trying to lean me back up, he yells my name as he lays me beside the bathtub. he feels like his whole world took a big hit from an avalanche....screaming out so heavily: somebody call an ambulance.....feeling angry that someone let me onto this, my eyeballs are rolling, drifting out of consciousness.. thinking to himself: why the hell didn't she stop herself at her own will?, tears just keep dropping as they reach the hospital.