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tl;dr - ballet
so if you didnt know since like march or february [so about 5-6 months] i've massively wanted to quit ballet. it's been effecting my mental health, there is no reason i want to stay in, i just want to quit. for about a year though i've thought about quitting but not till those months where i just massively wanted too.
i've come to the point where because of that i'm starting to just break down.
earlier today, i couldn't stop crying, my head was pounding i couldn't breath and i just felt so weak and scared because im going to ballet class today. and right now i'm just having random moments where i cry even though that sounds really weird.
i feel so unmotivated and sad and i think i'm at my lowest point in life because of it. i can't be as happy as i was 2 years ago, and i can't motivate myself to do much
i used to be able to sing and calm myself because as shitty as my singing was it was the one thing i realized back in summer of 2015 which helped me cope with my emotions and that can't even make me that happy anymore and that's definitely saying something.
now you're probably like?? how can ballet step on your mental health??? it's literally just exercise and exercise should make you feel better??
well here are some reasons:
i've developed really bad trust issues there because all except one of the teachers will lie to me
i've been bullied really badly by the students and have even once got my brand new pointe shoes stolen [which they cost around 75$]
my self confidence is super low there because of teachers
i've been really emotionally and physically messed around with by a certain teacher and i've had to leave her class
i was told to stand respectfully and quietly by the ballet mistress but when i do that, some teachers will insult me and say "im to shy"
i'm constantly ignored and i feel as if im a ghost there
i dont feel the same. ballet doesnt interest me at all anymore.
there are some more but those are the main reasons.
for these reasons i might be inactive till i feel better or i quit ballet.
i'm really sorry.
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