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SOooooo its 4 am and im texting my boyfriend right? but guess what i cant even focus on our conversation because im too busy thinking about Ashly!!!!! i cant fucking take it anymore how the fuck am i supposed to control these feelings? i really like her a lot. a whole fucking lot but i cant get with her. besides i love my boyfriend and having a boyfriend is more socially acceptable even if my parents dont like him. but i cant stop thinking about her and the memories i have with her and even the dreams which feel a lot like memories its too much for me. when we text its awfully awkward and feels too one sided. but today when i saw her at orientation ughh i just wished i went alone so that i could stay and talk to her but nooo my mom had to be there. anyways as soon as i got there i noticed her but only because she waved i saw her a few more times and she just made me so happy for even aknowleging me. i convinced my mom to late me stay but i think by then it was too late she was gone and i felt empty again
     
 
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