Notes

              Anesthetic Fools We Were
They told us that we needed therapy, as if medication and tainted words could fix broken toys.

Breaking down like a mirror smashed to pieces.

You're stuck in the same old nightmares...
Wanted to fade into an abyss is a stupendous place to start for me.
Obviously breathing my anxious silent screams of desire and lust isn't enough.
The best mistake was to have anything that would involve me to cry each in every night to the point of questioning is it truly my place to ask...
Do I always reserve my love like my petty crush labels on you when you don't even give me the time of day?
Biting of a synthetic heart is all I would ever receive from you because you only stare with a condescending smile like me being illustrated as Jason Todd being killed by a crowbar from the Joker's gritty smirking bare hands.
Eating my way through my tears because I was a fool to even realize that a pathetic weed like me would ever survive in the strong wind you blew.
Just your physiognomy alone fabricate tidal waves of disturbance through my neatly decor of a brain to an ocean of self-pity and reinventing my phobia of not simply being good enough for us.

The Arcadia I revive countless of times are barricaded by brimstone from my kind-hearted and shy expressions I flash towards you each and every time your presence is known to me.
When don't you realize the best mistake I ever made was keeping you in this benevolence of an impecunious soul's heart?
But again your heart is pumping adamantine while mine is simply too docile to even given the chance to blend your image into an already desecrated heart.
Just your presence in my perception concoct earthquakes alone gives my heart to stutter from its job to keep me alive.
Keeping my mind straight would only make me go back to bending because it is so hard to forget the first words we said to each other.
"You're a weird guy," is the first words you mentioned to me.
I replied with envy all over my face in the darkest palette of reds due to your semi-raspy voice in that dark morning just illuminating my world by just speaking to me.
I just want us to make up our minds before we dilapidated the chance of being that cruel world's sloppy inadequate excuse of a couple.
Saving my love isn't a good thing to do to you because it only makes me OCD of how to make this just right to that perfection I was merely lacking.
I guess that is how it felt when my world relight itself to realize I made the worst mistake to have you in my mind.
Being single doesn't mean that you know nothing about love.
Sometimes, alone is wiser than being in a false relationship.
N...
Is the only initial I need to put an O at the end of when you walk back into my life once more.

I was a dimwit to misunderstand that you, N, isn't good enough for me.
I finally realized that...
I am the wind that blew you away!
I am the one that barricaded your mind into submission!
I am the adamantine that goes through your bloodstream!
I am that guy that you, N, shake your juvenile head in confusion!
How you like it, N?
Me being all in your head to the point of being the best mistake you ever made by rejecting the invitation to being your foundation.

I learned that I could find someone better, stronger, and braver than you would ever be.
That person is not you but someone other there.

At least your misery is my morphine.