Notes

"fall away" seems to me like giving in to one's demons and losing light. He has to try to keep God in his life (keep the lights on) or else he might lose his way forever. The "pull" he feels that causes his skin to fall apart is the urge to do things that he knows are wrong. The first verse is basically him waiting in line for judgment and recalling the way that he has lived, society judging him for his ways makes him feel uncomfortable. He says I'm fine but I'm lying I'm so very far from fine, meaning he is giving you the answer you would want or expect but there is something more then that he doesn't want to express. He lies to himself, people around him and God bout how much he needs help. There is a desire that he doesn't want to change his lifestyle, but yet he knows that he is relatively powerless, he feels he's gone too depressed to change himself for the better. The second verse starts to explore the effect of regret about his life choices. Instead of putting him at peace, he questions if he really deserves the grace he is shown. He tries to move past his past sins/deeds (self harm, etc.) And tries to "get a new name, new place" but his guilt follows him, he thinks the best thing to do is start brand new, he has made the word "Tyler" sour in his mouth. Or it could mean he wants to change by leaving. Also He talks about him cutting himself (And I can feel the pull begin I feel my conscience wearing thin And my skin It will start to break up and fall apart) Because of his thoughts. His conscience was demanding him to not kill himself, but it is wearing thin, and he can't control himself. So basically he feels like he has sinned god by self harming and thinking badly to the point he doesn't feel worthy enough for him, he wants help and wants to change but feels like he is in too deep to change, your just in the stage where you want to do something but can't physically and just think terrible about your life.