Notes

Marissa, the love of my life,

Im sorry, please believe me i am. i love you with all my heart baby you mean everything to me. you are by far the greatest thing that has happened in the 18 years ive been on this earth. not only have you helped me get through some shit but you have also helped me find myself. i know i may be too much to handle at times but i am beyond greatful that you do put up with me and im also beyond greatful for eveything you do for me. and yes ill admit i am stupid like most of the time but i just want to show you i care about you so much and i want to prove to you that i am never going to leave your side as your boyfriend and hopefully one day your husband. and yes i may be really clingy at times, but imma be honest with you, i fell for you and im so far down that im afraid to lose you. i cant lose you jsut the thought of lossing you makes my heart hurt so much im literally crying writing this and its kinda hard cause i cant see the keys very well with tears in my eyes, but anyways. Marissa you make me the luckiest and most happiest man alive. and when i said i want you to make me feel good about myself. i didnt mean you dont because damn baby you make me feel some kind of way trust me on that but i was meaning like i want all this tension and all this bullshit we have between us i want it gone idc what it takes im willing to put 1000% effort im done making you upset i want you to feel like a princess all the time i want nothing but a smile on your face when youre upset i hate myself becasue i know i made you that way and i should never make you upset if anyhting i should be the one to change your mood when youre upset and i know that. im sorry im an asshole im sorry i cant provide more i want to be able to give you everything and anything you want or will ever need. to me youre beyond rare youre like an invention that was lost in history and would never be found again. but i was lucky enough to have found you and im having a hard time sharing you with the world babe. i guess you can say thats why im so protective and clingy but trust me babe im trying to make peace with myself so i can share you with the world but its so hard when you have such an amazing thing youre holding onto. i know at the end of the day youre in my arms and in my bed with me. i totally get that. and its a wonderful feeling to know that. i just hope that you can forgive me for my stupidity. I love you baby.
p.s. you look so peacefuk and beyind gorgeous sleeping babe. youre my sleeping beauty that i hope to awaken with my kisses.
Paul