Notes

Defusing>
Practice > Taking actions mindfully < delaying practice
Actions of confidence 1st and feelings later

Goals
Values- Core values- Very, Quite.Imp, N.I
Acceptance self and other
Adventure , create and seek
Assertiveness for rights


Success Trap- achieving goals, True success is living by values - acting on values instantly.
Don't obsess about the outcome, but about the process. Values underlying goal. Living in present moment. Values focused life is necessary even you reach goals or not.

Values are like Magic glue.

Taming your Fear- The fear trap - fear is just an unpleasant feeling.
Auto Pilot- Less control- Dictate choice- fear, makes avoid taking risk, com-zone Getting stuck in
Plenty of Space - Attitude shift, don't waste time on them, being open
Mindfulness

NAME Acronym
Notice fear
Acknowledge Here is fear, I am noticing fear, nerves, stress
Make space; Breathe in
Expand awareness; engagement skills, Mindfulness, notice and simultaneously connect with world around us. Be aware of things around and self and seeing the whole stage show. Can't avoid, just make space and expand the space.

Allow fear Befriend Fear Channel Fear

Taking Actions

Joe Simpsons ridding the snow hill story

Facing measure challenge- Moving forward with values
Even when a goal is impossible - Just take action without giving up without thinking of the outcome.
As long as we move forward each step counts
Moving in a meaningful direction, making room for discomfort
Need to engage fullfully and stay focused on task.
At times we all give up, get back on tack. Rising after the fall.

Choose a domain- Love, work, play
Clarify Values within this domain
Set goals- Use these values to set goals. Long term, short.
Specify Actions- Use a important short term goals. Starting today no matter how small the steps is.
Get moving- Take actions and act mindfully.

Travel mindfully guided by our values even without being preferred methods.

ACT Accept thought and feelings Choose a valued direction Take actions

Whats stopping you:

Whats keeps us stuck: Acronym FEAR
Fusion- What story I'm fusing with?
Excession- Am I trying to do too much too soon.
Avoidance of discomfort - What thought and feelings I am avoiding. Not making room, stuck in waiting place.
Remoteness from values- What's the point of doing something uncomfortable. Whats values I am forgetting?

How to get unstuck - Acronym By Dare
Diffusion - Radio FFF, My thought says I cannot....
Acceptance- Experiencing pain of growth, fear of losing..... Making room for all of it.
Realistic Goals- If exceed, put on hold, how can we improve and make new goals. Scale down goals, making it smaller and easier.
Embracing values-

Rule: Don't get obsessed with outcome just be passionate about the process
Process and not outcome.

Stand to live by values.
Values can be used to set new goals. In and out of the comfort zones.

Motivation Trap: Motivation is the desire to do something.
Trapped in motivational trap- Makes feel good in short term and not in long term. Football player motivational practice.
Avoidance living life is less better than values driven life.
Converting motivation into commitment (unwilling to do) Actions comes first and feelings later.
Committed actions comes first and motivation feeling later.

Golden Rule: Actions First, feeling later.

Think of failure as feedback - Thomas elva edison, it's a natural part of learning. It provides opportunity to play more intelligently

Rebounding from failure: Give Donkey carrot or stick
6 steps to rebound from failure:
1. Diffuse
2. Make space
3. Be kind on oneself
4. Appreciate what worked- what risk were taken and give yourself a pat, self acknowledge. What went right?
5. Find something useful- How can learn and grow from this? What can I do different from this next time?
6. Take a stand: What can I stand for? What values would I like to bring. And use the values and take actions mindfully. If I get stuck, remind myself to what actions can be taken.