Notes

I have nobody to talk to. I mess everything up. He´s the best person i know, the first thing that comes to my mind when somebody says ¨happiness¨ or ¨best thing ever¨. He´s the one i think of in everything. I have had the best times of my life with him, but he wont figure that out. We fight every single day for about 2 months now, and im scared that it will change. That he will leave me. I love him. Hes my everything. I dont want him gone. He cares for me, he loves me like nobody has ever before. Its amazing, but i have no clue what I will be like if he leaves, other than dead. He´s helped me through my hardest times. Where i felt like I was nothing and that nobody cared, he showed he did. He showed that he was here for me when i need him. That he loves me, that he cares for me. But now hes not here, i just need him. Im trying to talk to hailey but she has other problems to deal with so im just here crying, thinking about how much i need him, and probably will be all night. I cant sleep without knowing hes ok, without knowing he still loves me, without knowing he cares.I just let him down. I am a let down. Like im a bad girlfriend. Why im never happy, because he isnt, because im not the best to him. I dont show hium how much I care about him, how much i TRULY care. And thats a lot. But he would never know just becasue im