Notes

I think I was asked to Homecoming dance. We were talking about it at lunch, and Trinity told me that she would go with me if neither of us had dates by then. Now I can't stop thinking about it.
She was probably just being nice TBH, but I don't know. If she really WANTS to go with me, she could have asked. Did she just try to be polite? Or did she really want to go?
Abdullah made a good point (for once) and said that I shouldn't dive back in to something that is doomed to fail. He is very right. Come on, it won't last. It never does.
Jaden was the one who mentioned that she was just trying to be nice. He could be wrong though. What if she really wants to get back with me after all this time since elementary school? What if she was waiting? Not likely, but possible.
Even if she does want me back, I don't know if I want her. She looks amazing, but I don't know her as well as I used to. Her family isn't in a great place right now, so a relationship might not be a good thing for her, either.
Another thing to think about- I just got broken up with. Needless to say, it sucked. It really destroyed me mentally. I might not be mentally strong enough to handle another one of those. But then again, why should I deny myself any chance at happiness because of my other failures? Why should I have to wallow in my own despair while time goes on without me? I can't use my recent breakup as a reason not to got to one lousy dance. I don't have much chance to get back with my recent ex, It would have to be Jr or Sr year but by then Trinity and I would probably be over for good. Even though I'd be single, she could very well find someone else. Even THEN, she would have to want me back. Fat chance.
Okay, so we could just go "as friends" but having been in the friend zone myself, I won't put someone else through that. This is if she wants to be with me. I don't want me (or her) to feel like it isn't worth it after we try either.
What if I ask her to actually be my date? What would she think if I did that? She could say "No, been there done that." or "No, just as friends." or something along those lines. If she says yes and I don't take her seriously after, she might not like me as even a friend anymore. If she says yes, and we date, and it works, what if my recent ex wants to get back with me? Literally anything could go wrong. No matter what I do, SOMETHING won't work.