Notes

20/05/2016
So started smoking again. Hate it so much. Taste alone makes me sick. But it helps with the anger. So much of it today. Reading messages I don't wanna see.

15/06/2016
kinda forgot about this but meh... Stopped smoking. decided it's better to not smoke and figure out what other drugs can help with anger and pain. What happened in January still haunts me and don't know if I can tell people. My ribs are fine now. Still getting flash backs on what I did. Don't know where the anger came from. Regret it so much

25/07/2016
11 months :D jeez such a happy man. Life turned around for me. Guess it's finally gonna work out.


20/08/2016
Starting to feel like I am falling out of the world. Trying to hold onto my thoughts. H not helping in long term. Working for the few hours that it lasts

22/08/2016
Last 2 days have been very hard. Parents been away for 6 days. Been saying i've been smoking weed to friends. I seem to snapchat a lot. But H taking over again. Not looking good

23/08/2016
Well... It's intersting how fast life can just become a shit hole. And how fast you can lose your mind with all the shit that goes on. All I want is to be alone. I try to keep my old self around friends but it's hard. I feel like there's only one person I can trust. And I feel like she's drifting away with her boyfriend. He's a great guy but I just wanna spend a day with her and be honest about this all. I told her it's just H, weed, acid and shrooms. But there's so much she need's to be told. Starting to sell H again. Might take acid to get my mind up on friday.

24/08/2016
Getting sick again. Worried that my mind is gone. School was hard today. Had a bit of time to think to myself when I got home but that's ended by H...
Think I'm back to my old self again.

25/08/2016
Thursday... Fuck this. Hard day. With my life in a hole and the weekend still far away I don't know how I'll survive. Suicide is becoming to real and the thought of it comes up every couple hours. Seems to pass when I relax with music

26/08/2016
Finally friday night.... Work was not easy. Everyone there is just shit. My boss is a bitch and the managers are all cunts. There always talking about how great life is. While im there just smiling... with what ever happiness I have left

27/08/2016
Party tonight. Might stay sober but not sure yet. Depends how I go during the day. Last night i got very little sleep! Tried something new. Let's call it M. Cause thats what it is. Stayed awake for ages and ended up passed out on my floor and woke up finding it hard to breath.
1AM. being sober didn't work. party was ok. Don't remember much already. Friend apparently drove past. But i didn't get to see her. Really sucks.
4AM. Still awake. M again. thought it would help with a bit of the pain in my leg. Still got pain from what happened in January. haven't told anyone. Don't think I could ever.

28/08/2016
2PM hurting very badly. Actually coming down to suicide and I keep getting up and looking around. Parents get back today. I don't wanna see them. I should just leave and they can figure out this. Also written down the link to this place so someone can see it if I do decide to just die.

29/08/2016
Mondays are never fun. Can't let that get me down. Was a good day. Got a smile out for a while. Was very sick in the morning. Think withdrawel kicked in....

30/08/2016
Well yesterday was good. Today not so good. I stood at mount henry bridge for about 20 minutes looking over. Thinking of pain that falling causes. Maybe OD is the option. Looked into some percription med's like morphine. Can get it here in 3 days

31/08/2016
Day was ok. Had a english assignment and well fuck it. Dosen't look like I'll finish school. Been talking to shanae a fair bit and seems to help. But then we fight. Today I read some things i didn't want to. Really threw me down again.
Well now your reading this.. Georgia. The friend is you. I am gonna send this to you tonight. It's time I open up fully about everything. You can either ignore what I am saying or talk to me. If your mad. I am sorry. I seem to get people mad a lot