Notes

Joy,
I dont know where to start. Even though we haven't always been close, I know that we were once something i couldn't explain. It was a feeling of young and free thinking, where we could just play along with life like it was all we chose to do. Do you ever think about the future?

The future is something hard to think about. It could ruin your life, it could save it, it could make things worse or lead you to make decision you may one day regret, but i know one thing.

The future is precious. It is something you should always cherish. Make the most of the future, the present is what you live in and you learn from the past right?

Do we always need a reason to look back at the moments in our lives where we loved and chased something?

A year ago, on this day, I would have thought to ask you about your feelings.

Did you have feelings for me?
Were they genuine?
Did i have hope?

These questions always crossed my mind. Through ups and downs in my life I always thought that i had someone to count on.
You.

Even if now you're not as precious and as much as the Joy i used to know, you grew.
You grew into someone i admire even more. Although i want to get to know you better, i feel blocked off by a powerful sense of isolation.

I don't know what to do Joy.
Can you guide me?
These twists and turns dont go away by themselves.

You told me to face my problems head-on. I am able to do that for everything else, but i cannot do this.
Why can't i tell you?
Why can't the moon and the stars urge me to tell you the very thing I've always wanted to tell you?

I feel separated from you.
Why do I feel this way.

8/9/2016