Notes

why do i feel like everybody doesnt care about me, why is everything such a challenge for me, why am i so easliy offended, why do people pretend that they care about me, theyed probably only care once im gone, heck theyed ignored me for so long, i dont even know if theyed noticed that i left, i try to get their attention but never can, i hate myself, because whenever i try to build a relationship with new people, i always chase them away, i try to act like i dont need them, but i always end up crying all day, why is it that people always define me by one bad moment, i pray that one day i can show them, all the pain theyve caused me, and how i still forgive them. up tp this point in my life, i aint never had someone to call my true love, i dont know if ive been close or if im staright up not good enough, some of my closest friends arent even that close, and i took me 8 years to build up the friendship, i hope it becomes better lets see how it goes. i finally told my parents one of my issues, but i still keep hearing voices inside my head, saying "they dont really care about you". i keep telling myself they still love me, but i dont feel anything inside, so i go on my knees, "please god help me i cont take this much longer, please help get through this and help me become stronger. why do i feel like nobody cares, i cant face the problem so i stare in the mirror, saying to myself whats wrong with me, is something that i did, did i do something on accident. why is everyone like harvey dent, two faced, too fake, is there some type of image of me in other peoples head, is that im inmature, stupid, or is that i just that weird kid. why is it that i have to be good at something, to get peoples respect and listen to me, for them to value my opinion. i whish that i left this world early back when i was 6 year old, without a single worry in my mind, looking up to the sky, telling god that im coming home, but for some reason god didnt let me go yet, now im feel so empty inside, ive been tempted to end my own life, because of the things ive done, im afraid to go to church, im afraid to die, im afraid that god might hate me, so i pray for forgivness, i say to myself " god forgive me i regret the things ive done, so please help me overcome them,i promise to never leave you again, in the name of jesus amen and amen.