Notes

I'm not going to exaggerate a single word of what I'm about to say. You checked in with me on a very sensitive topic I'd been considering and praying about for a good bit of time. When you didn't like the answer I gave you, your bull-headed approach was admittedly guilt-tripping me into speaking for some of the most impolite reasons one can produce. You cite the pressure to impress our family and essentially outshine the other confirmands because I am more literate than them. When dad agrees with me, a rare occasion might I add, you instantly assume that he has solidified my decision and it is him who is the worst proponent behind my stance, yet you are so wrong. You twist my words, claiming I "really wanted to do this and until you came in and changed his mind". It is simply wicked to become so infuriated at the first person to agree with someone who disagrees with you, let alone your husband. I at no point expressed a blatant interest in speaking, rather that I would pray on it, and I have. Yet you were so quick to contradict a God-given answer so as to put yourself above the response to my prayers. Between this and the simulated burden of causing problems between you and dad, you induced a 35-minute panic attack. In the end, I decided to check that box not to impress you or make you look like good parents to the rest of the church and our family but to prove two essential points. Dad had nothing whatsoever to do with my final decision, and second that you have no right to make amends to such a matter and the decision fall on me and me alone. It is discourteous and unjust, especially in the way you did it, to try and change my mind on something with such gravity as public speaking on the service of my confirmation, and so I have made the choice on my own accords, that I wish simply to share my experiences with the congregation. Finally, you claim you laid upon me no such pressure to commit to such a heavy burden, yet time and time again you boasted all the reasons why I ought to do it. If you really wanted it to be my choice you should have accepted my first answer. Pray on this and know that regardless of any newfound empathy or the lack thereof that you show I forgive you and understand where you are coming from. I know too well from my parents embarrassing me in public what it's like to urge them to uphold a state of maturity or reputation for the family. I know that it isn't always driven by greed or zeal but you must understand that had I not made this motion neither myself nor this family would be "frowned upon". My story would still have been shared at the Faith Celebration, and ultimately it would have made no difference. So hopefully in this heartfelt change I can appease you and share the word better. God bless, Chris.