Notes

My sister and I have a complicated relationship. I can have conversations with her, she is very funny and intelligent, but her actions, from my point of view, are the main issue between us. I don't know if it is me or her but clearly one or maybe both of us are doing something to strain the relationship. We both live with my mother, I pay my mom $300 a month, do chores around the house, and my mother and I both contribute to the grocery budget. My sister pays nothing, does no chores, and leaves her stuff all over the house. She cooks at least twice a day and doesn't wash dishes. She also occasionaly steals from my mom to buy marijuana. And while these things upset me, they are not the main cause of the strain. My sister has a dog that she does not take care of at all. The dog poops and pees everywhere and my sister does not clean up after the her, the dog is never bathed, and the dog constantly barks. I have tried taking care of the dog myself but my sister gets upset when try, she also gets upset if I make suggestions to her in regards to her dog. I have also tried talking to my mother because both of us are struggling to live with my sister, I try to ask my mom to set boundaries and have a consequence if my sister continues to destroy the home but my mom never follows through. My mom says that my sister is young, she is 21 and I am 23, and that everyone matures at a different rate and that nobody can be held to the same standard. I agree with that, but I think that when someones actions have a negative impact on others a line must be drawn. Those are the main issues that I have with my sister. However, my sister also has issues with me. She says that I am controlling and that I try to rule the house and that the house belongs to my mom and I should not try to set any rules. She also says that I am rude and only have negative things to say and that I need to stop being so stuck and and just relax. I don't know how to approach this situation, I have no clue what to do. I can not afford to live on my own right now even though I have two jobs, what can I do to be happier in the situation that I am in? I don't expect my sister to change at all, I just need to know how I can cope with living in squalor.