Notes

I dont know what is happening to me but i feel that everything is changing, im not the same person that i used to be. i think differently i act differently. ever since i got involved in this relationship i became so consumed with everyday life, i forgot about what is important and about my vision to change the world and leave a legacy. Today i was talking a walk after i had early dinner, a relatively short walk to ROSS, i kept thinking to my self; what a loser i have became in the recent years.
I dont know if i became more lazy or is it just easier to go with life as is but im not motivated to do anything including planning for my own future and dreaming about what i want to do and work for it. even at work i procrastinate more than i do work for one reason or another. maybe writing will help me get this negative energy out and help me try to think in a more positive way as i always used to do.
I want to get my self back, i want to gain my focus on the bigger picture and on being more successful. i always thought that i had a very good self awareness but some time i even question that because i'm not sure if its real or am i just fooling myself