Notes

im sad. im sad bc of things that have happened in my life. i wish i wasnt scared of men, especially father figures. i wish i wasnt scared of boys talking to me. i wish i wasnt scared of being touched. i wish my brain would just stop. why cant my brain be normal. i wanna think of smart things, happy things, anything but these thoughts. but here i am, going back to time i wish never happened. i hate myself. i know i couldve had it worse, i know im just over reacting but it wont stop anyway. im so paranoid. EVRYOEN IS OUT TO FUCKING GET ME MAKE IT STOP LEVA EME THE FUCK SALONE GET OUT GETO OUT GEt OuT FUCK OUFF I HAT EYOU DIE DIE DIE DIEIIEIEIEE HBITCH KILL YOURSELF LEAAVE ME ALONE FUCK OF GET OUT GET OUt GETGET OUTR EGTO OUTLEVAE ME ALONE LEAVE ME OALONE GET OUT OF MY HUSE GET OUT OF MY ROOM GET OUR OF MY HEAD I KNOW YOY KNOW GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YIUY stop i know youre there just leave, i cnt sleep bc yoyre watching me, please leavei wanna sleep but you wont leave. i remeber being like 7 and telling my mom that i was gonna kill myself bc i was upset, she never took me seriously. i always thought suicide was the answer, i used to think of suicide as a chain reaction and one suicide lead to another. i thought it was normal. im a faker bc i dont have ptsd, im making this all up for attention. im such a fucking liar this is all fake, im not actually menatally ill, im a fake liar liar liar lair liar! there are actual sick people and you decide to be a faker, disgusting. im make=ing this up for attention, all i want is attention. im a big fat ugly attention whore, im a faker and a liar and ive never been sick. everyone gets sad sometime, i dont have depression. i dont have delusions, im jus a fake =r bc i want attention bc i think it col im a faker liar liar ugly faker bitch. im scrolling through a trauma blog rn, its clearly triggering me but i relate so i like it.