i freaking finally get to write you paragraphs again . dude , i don't even know where to start . so much has happened since the last "paragraph" , it was 100 reasons but whatever . this was tbh such a bad way to start summer break . but i'm okay with ittttt because i got you both backkkk . anywho , how was Alex's party ? dude my voice lately , is just becoming a guy basically . and YOUR VOICE !!!!! ugh , i'm obsessed with itttttt . dude like wtf happened while i was gone ? puberty just hit you . your voiceeeee , and i swear to goodness i think you got taller as well . since it's been to long since i actually made a paragraph because of the incident, this one is gonna be uber cheesy . sorry in advance . i don't where the hell this is gonna go but here ya go . for awhile , i've been searching for an amazing best friend in a guy form . i was bullied for so from like 5th grade to the beginning of 8th grade . i was even bullied by my own friends . the only friends i've ever really had so i didn't know better. i always thought and hoped for a best friend that i could tell all my secrets to and they wouldn't judge me for it . then i met this one girl , but she told my secrets and made them into a joke because of the way i looked . i looked like trash btw . i was made fun of so much and i didn't do anything about it until i became the joke of my grade . until i met my own guy best friend . Tony Hernandez . he protected me from the bullies and he made me stronger . i was so weak that i couldn't even answer a question in class without worrying about what people would think of me until he came along . then middle school hit . i changed a lil bit . my hair was cut to my shoulders , i was still shy , i was still scared . i thought i would have Tony to always be there for me during middle school but guess what . he started getting feelings for the person that bullied me . i was still there for him but i was a third wheel . then i got my first real boyfriend , and i wasn't so shy . i thought wow someone actually likes me other than my grandma . huge accomplishment for me . but we broke up and i was trying not to be so sad , that i didn't need a guy . and i became independent . then 8th grade . the year my life changed . from 10:22-11:39 . the best class period . little did i know when i walked into that room that i'd meet the lomls in there . i was so lucky enough to meet both of you . but to call you my best friends ? to have the honor of seeing your notification on my device ? i'm truly the luckiest . i am no longer the shy bullied girl in 5th grade , im the girl with the two most amazing people to have ever walked the earth as my best friends . i had no idea i would ever feel this way about either of you . to feel this much love in a person . i didn't even know my broken heart could still love a person this much . the point of that history was to explain why im so bipolar , why im so roller coaster of emotions kind of person . to show how i started and how all the little things you do make me , me . People search happiness in many different things , whether it's money , an object , a location , that's what they think happiness , my happiness is you . it always has been and always will be . no matter what mistakes either of us make , we'll still come back to each other . you are all i need to be happy , and berry . both of you make me so happy . with your support i have been able to do things that i never thought i would do . before i met both of you , i had no idea this is what love was supposed to feel like . i didn't know i would be this happy until i met you . we may not have the most perfect friendship but i am a thousand percent committed into making it last long . i want to make both of you as happy as you both make me . more if that's even possible . i really do love you more than you love me , times infinity to the infinite power times infinity . i never want to lose you again , i will make sure that it doesn't happen again . it was a hell i can promise that . i know i don't show it often because of how many times i walk away or leave or say things i don't mean , and i also know that an apology won't fix everything , so i'll try and stop doing that . hopefully it makes up for the idiotic things i do . and hopefully this puts a smile on your face at least . i don't even play when it comes to you or berry . ooooooooo i fucking swear if someone even tries messing with or tries talking shit about you , they about to die . i remember one time , Chris asked if he could have a relationship like me and you have . man oh man . my reaction . i yelled that he can't even compare himself to you . he asked to hug me from behind like you do and i said if he tried he's getting socked . i will continue to be by your side until i die . even then we still have promises for each other when one of us dies . there isn't anyone like either one of you that has ever had this place in my heart . i talk about both of you at the dinner table . smile ridiculously stupidly whenever i see your notification pop up . no one can even come close to you . be prepared for when we live with each other . if you think you getting space from me , think again . that sounds mean but i do need you in my life . i need your huggles whenever i have a bad dream . i need your smile when im feeling upset . i need your pouty face when i feel sad to make me feel okay again . i need you slickness when i feel like giving up . i need you to keep going . never in a million years will paragraphs or words come close to how much you mean to me . sorry if you get kind of bored from reading these paragraphs . i kind of send them often . it just makes me upset knowing that no one treated you the way you deserve to be treated . we've come so far and we're almost at a year best friendeeee . but i know for sure , we'll have more years . hello , i freaking see a future with you . you're already the daddo of my kiddos . you're my everything . i don't want any one else besides you two and that's factzzzzzz . there's a song that every time i listen to it , it automatically makes me think of you . it's "By Chance by JRA" because it's the first song that we sang together , just us two . and it's cute , just like you . it's hard to sleep at night not knowing if you're okay or something . i just hope you aren't sad or something because of me . i love you so much Terrell Drew Calinog . i will say it everyday more than once so i'm sorry if it gets annoying . i love you . i love you with all of my being . thank god your parents have blessed me with you . i'm just so thankful for you existence . for you . i get so speechless whenever i need to say something about you . whenever you hug me i don't want to let go because you make me feel safe . whenever you smile i never want it to go away . whenever you laugh it fills me with joy . whenever i hear you saying i love you i cry a little , because to hear someone so perfect as you say something like that to a mess like me , gives me all the feels . don't even worry about other guys when i say they're cute , you're the cutest out of all of them times like a billion . well sorry this is short i wanted to type faster but i had to many errors in my typing . i already miss you . so read this and reply please , i need to talk to the most amazing person on earth who just so happens to be the daddo of my kiddos and my best friend . i love you so much , never forget that . oh one last thing , thanks to the incident i can't go to the phillippines , is that good or bad ?
