Notes

Hey, if you haven't already, I think you should come clean to the girl you're engaged to. If you realize you've crossed boundaries, It's important to address that and look for ways to grow as a person emotionally, intellectually and spiritually before committing your life to someone. If you choose to make a life-long commitment, you need to be fully prepared to honor it, regardless of the circumstances.

I understand how important it is to settle down with someone who shares a similar background, faith, work ethic and ambitions to you and how Indian families want their children to have a solid career and a suitable partner but I would advise you to do so when you're confident that you can offer your partner complete loyalty.

I also think you're still healing from a loss in your life that has affected you profoundly, particularly around this time of year and I can imagine you want to make your family proud and set a good example for your younger sister. You want the best for your family and they want the best for you.

While there's no shame in wanting to explore with additional sexual partners and fulfilling kinky fantasies and it's something I would actually recommend if you want excitement, variety, to learn new ways to satisfy your main partner and the freedom to be sexually attracted to more than one person as long as there's safety and security - that shouldn't involve secrets from your partner and those involved.

I feel it's necessary for you to work on your self control and the conscious choices you make from the recent conversation I had with you if you want to maintain that stability, likewise with me, if I continue to be monogamous, as I've also made mistakes.

I know you probably don't want contact with me but I just wanted to get this message across, really not sure how to shorten it and cover everything I wanted to get off my chest so I'm sorry but if you've chosen to be monogamous and you and your partner have agreed on that - you do need to fully respect that. Even if the consequences aren't pretty - being honest with your partner when you're ready is the right and respectable thing to do.