Notes

Do you know that feeling, the one you get when you are trying to fall asleep, but your heart just won’t let you because all you can feel is this overwhelming urge in your chest that just wants to combust. Well, here I am trying to fall asleep, but all I can think about is my love. It is in these weird moments, the ones where you literally can not stop yourself from overflowing with joy and happiness over one single individual that I just can’t believe my life. I love her. I love her! I know you will read this and I just love you. We fantasize and get so excited over the crazy adventures we will have in the future together and it is just amazing how much another individual can be on the same wave length as you. It is dangerous, we both know this, to put so much faith in one another and so much thought and love and whatever else the human emotions can express. Yet, how is it that something so dangerous can be so thrilling? I get chills sometimes from just how much times you cross my mind on a daily basis. So much so, I question what else could I have been thinking about prior to meeting you. This isn’t changing anytime soon either. Call me crazy, honestly at this point I don’t care, but I think I’m treading on borderline infatuation. I’ve literally had to, on many occasions, stop myself from crossing that line between what is healthy and what isn’t. But, at this point, who cares! I love thinking about how much you care for me and how much of a gem you are to this world. You don’t even know it and that just makes you all the more admirable. You question why it is people fall for you so quickly and I question how could they not? You are compassionate and mindful, brilliant and beautiful and I just can’t fathom the idea of not having you in my life. At this point, I don’t know who else to thank for having found you and really taken the time to get to know you. Funny thing is, we have so much more to learn about one another and that alone is mind blowing. You say that you are crazy and weird for feeling the way you do about me. If that is so, then I must be insane because I don’t even think the English vocabulary has the words to express my gratitude, respect, admiration, love and just hope for us and for you. I love you and I needed to rant about it because I don’t think my beating heart would settle if I didn’t confess this tonight. I’m calling it now, there will be times when I will be cold and distanced, it comes with being human and having forever fluctuating emotions. But please, my darling, don’t ever assume that anything I do or say lessens the space in my heart that you occupy. Because at the end of the day, I just want you to be happy and healthy and smiling and eating and staying hydrated and just content with life. And the beauty of us is that I know you want the same for me and for that I thank you. Thank you for being you and no one else. Thank you for being the weirdo that I have learned to appreciate. Thank you for listening when no one else would. Thank you for always wanting the best for me 110%. Thank you for carving a space in my heart where compassion is held onto with a firm grip. Even with this now formulating list of thank you’s, I can’t thank you enough. I love you with almost every fiber in my being (we have to leave some love as part of the chase). I just wanted you to know, as a reminder to you and as a reconsolidation for me. I love you.
Please don’t think I’ve lost my mind. It will happen, just not yet. More like I’ve finally imploded.