Notes

Was it hard to adjust when ma chased you out and you had to live here? I just need help you know, im kinda struggling to adjust into a new place and different habits, i need someone to talk to when im alone but its so difficult to reach out to them, it doesnt feel normal you know its probably just some kind of issue that i have... im always quiet when im around them i feel ashamed of myself it doesnt feel like home or even having eddie boy with me... do you ever have this kind of feeling? kuya im feeling like im nobody now. do you understand how i feel? probably not because you wouldn't care. do you know how many sleepless nights and countless days i felt like i wanted to just drain all my hurt feelings and die, i had a lot. and seriously its not getting better. pain is temporary they said, so is happiness, it doesnt last forever. you know how many times i tried hold back in my tears when i saw you walk out that door without turning back. you left me for about 2 years alone with my worst enemy. i didnt know how to stand up without you or even talk nicely without you pissing me off first. it was a hard adjustment for me when you left me i hate you for that but i thank you for making me stronger each time to disappoint me. you showed me even though we had negative times there was always a positive side to it. so tell me how did you keep up with this? aren't i too young to even go through this.. but what do i know. help me kuya.. help me change my life again. youre the only person in the family that i trust so bad. now, i need your help. would you help me? i hope you read this cause im suffering still