Notes

Look i cant get all these things people have said out of my head and im so low self esteem that i feel like you dont even want me.. look ik you said you do and you wanna take it slow but seeing you go with dreama when you say your tired or saying your busy just freaks me out along with the fact you wont explain you and your "ex" girlfriends situation when you've apparently been kissing.. i trust your word but i just need more from you then what your giving.. i know you say " i wish people would mind there own business" but i atleast need something i mean outside of school you just leave me on read and the thing that made me extremely pissed is you just left me
On read when i really needed you you act completely different and less loving than you did before what happend.. you say you wanna take it slow cause you dont wanna hurt me but you didnt take it slow before what happend.. and now you really have hurt me but god i keep coming back because i keep thinking maybe i can be better maybe if i wear this maybe if i do that i can get him to like me more look i know ive known you for so little time but your such a great guy and your so accepting your into everything i am into your so sweet and your laugh and jokes and smiles make me melt you make me genuinely happy and that's so fucking hard to come by it seems i just want you more than you want me when i didnt even want you in the first place but now your stuck in my head i dont even know how you did this because i dont like getting close to people but you managed to just hit me where it really fucking hurt i just shouldnt have come over i shouldnt have let you kiss me i shouldnt have sat next to you when you said you liked my shirt i shouldve just stopped it.. but now i dont know what to do so you read this and tell me what you think cause its gonna be hell honestly if you want me to just be friends with you cause i wont be able to do that and i wont bug you like steph did i will take no for an answer i dont wanna be an attention whore and i dont wanna cause any drama i dont want us to argue and i dont want you to hate me i just want to know where to take this from here because im a clingy person your a person who likes space im a person who likes to hangout all the time and be extremely cuddly and shit and your just not that im a person who wants to be open and honest and tell eachother everything and be able to lean on eachother when we need it. Im a protective person i wanna know that i can trust you and right now i just dont even know.. you wont talk to me.. you just say ok, Xd , lol, haha, hehe, and emojis im just tired and i need to know if you want me to just leave this be and just block you and try and forget and leave you be or just try and fix it i dont wanna change you or how you feel so if you dont wanna do this i understand. Anyway. Just tell me your answer. Im not asking you to drop everything and go out with me. Im not ready for that because i dont even know if youll be willing to stay with me and like i said i dont understand you and your exs situation and You wanna take it slow I respect that. im asking for more answers and more communication. Im also not asking you to stop talking to anyone, id just like more information about what the hell we are and whats going on with everyone else. Anyway ik this is long as hell this is what i was writing on my phone in class Thursday just tried to figure out when to send it