Notes

Positives-
1. The approach of individually explaining the topic at individual and institutional level. The topic you chose is on philosophy so you can add more personal thoughts.
2. adding the examples like the emergency and insurgency ones, explains that you are well read
3. good use of space, as in distribution of paragraphs is clear cut, which is a really important quality.

Scope of improvement and suggestion
1. There is an overall vagueness in the essay right around the middle of second paragraph, the begining was crisp but gradually it became too generalised by the time it come towards the end.
2. take care of the commas, when you use lines like- "on the one hand,------ while on the other,------"
3. when you gave the example of emergency and insurgency, you can also say your take on that- like analyse the situation. try and use the example like if you feel that an action of the state was wrong and uncalled for in that particular situation, then mention what could have been done to stop that.
Here the best example to quote will be of AFSPA (read in detail about it a little), you can use it either way in negative sense and also in the positive sense
4. also you can add a paragraph quoting similar examples from the world- like hitler and his rule or the syrian war or the Colombian peace process, see this is a topic where lots of examples can be used to decorate it and elucidate it more properly and when we link the essay with current events happening it gives you an edge.
5. Also, it is again a personal suggestion- you can quote the philosophy of buddhism here- the middle path in the cnclusion saying that too much of both is contagious and will have consequences of their own while like buddhism if we follow the middle path and balance things out both love and fear can be used as a tool to solve some major shortcomings in the world.

PS- You have a great writing potential, keep up this pace and i'm telling you its just a matter of some time, practice and some more reading that you will excel in this.