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I tore myself down, and you picked up what was left
Man I lost count of how many times you stopped trying
All those times you said you loved me but why was you lying
Why the fuck this gotta happen to me
How are these kids just fine, as happy as can be
Man I just don't understand it, how did this happen
From normal kid; to depressed, drinking, getting head, breaking into buildings, praying people to smoke, lying to my parents, failing school. I fucked up. I was gonna be a DJ. The worlds best ever DJ. I wanted to be just like Martin. I fell into the pressure. I don't know if i can make it out. I don't know if i will. What if i become an alcoholic. What if i end up homeless. What if I'm doing everything wrong and I'm just gonna be a fuck up. What if i end up like my dad. What if i end up like my brother. What if, what if, what if... I could go on for years. But yet I can't think of any good things that could happen. I ruined my fucking dreams. There's no way I'm becoming a DJ anymore after all the shit i've done. I act like such a good kid in front of my parents but in reality, I'm a fuck up. I don't know what's wrong with me anymore tbh. I used to think it was my past and all the shit i've been through just effected me and that's how i ended up here but it doesnt make any sense. Because when i'm staying up late at night, depressed, I'm not thinking of my past. I rarely ever do. It can't be audrey because she makes me happy. Ya she pisses me off a fuck load and I think she does a lot of dumb shit to me that effects me more than she thinks but she doesn't do it on purpose because I know deep down she loves me. Recently I've just said that I'm depressed over nothing because I can't figure it out
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