Notes

[ After you have a dream Lana Parrilla blocked you for tweeting about her so much. 🤔 lmfao. OK, OK. I was thinking: What did I do? I remember, before I knock tf out, I used to watch Everybody Loves Raymond before bed to hs. My friends called me old. I... just had different sense of entertainment. I learned I wanted to act in middle school. My father never took me to an audition and I hated my mom for talking with him. I hated her and I dislike the word hate. I forget of a persons existence before I hate anyone or anything. But, it was true and I wanted it so bad. I am the type who's an able to do anything candidate, literally. Except math is the only struggle, when complicated. But my mom took me in her Humpty Dumpty car and we never paid because why would you pay to get a career? Dumb fuck. Anyway, I was not afraid to sing loudly inside my room so they called and lowered the 2 grand to 1115 after saying I had potential. Well hell, shit fuck I remembered the words. My mom said no. -heart fucking stop emoji: I cried in my room while singing beautifully. I do judge myself and if so be it, I sound like shit, I am like: no give it up. She explained which I was smarter than generation 😂 so I knew but I was so po'ed you have no ducking idea. I said it - ducking. Well yeah. They claimed to make Brenda Song famous, this John Powers. I guess Google gave me birth then. XD
So, I gave up and sang only in the shower and alone or when music was blasting. Or only the alone when you're in a The Strangers type home and no one can hear you - you are completely paranoid now. I am having nightmares. I remember thinking and acting on it: I was home? The serious is wrong with you? I guess I will never be home. lmao
But I never actually quit since the acting haunts my ass every fucking time I have free time like this ducking year. Honestly, I do curse this much. I seriously dream nightmares now of zombies. Imagine Regina: "Duck you and you. Emma, fucking duck you too." 🙃 I never had ideas for YouTube. I literally quit. I found out about you now and I laughed. I'm just done with my dad, like bro, fuck 😒. @Alyssa_Milano and @LanaParrilla have been inspiring me to live. I can't kill myself but I wanted to be kidnapped or shot. I know, I'm so fucked up. Oh wait, you have brown vegetation to treat... Though, because of the sarcasm and expressions, realistic moments of the characters that bring them actual life, I admired these people. They brought me from the dark and into the light.