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You need to stop blaming your past, and people in your life. It's time to take responsibility for your life, your mental health.
You clearly cannot handle a casual relationship with Eugene so please end it as soon as possible. I know you're waiting to hear from him for your phone, but you don't need to constantly log in and see if he's replied. It's okay if you miss him and considering the science behind oxytocin being released during sex, it makes sense why you yearn him right now. But you don't know him that well and you've put him on a pedestal based on this idea you have of him. That's neither healthy nor unfair to him. He stated from the beginning that he was only looking for something casual. Only looking to have "fun".
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