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Come on in.
Do you think sending photos of your penis
is a good way to get a woman's attention,
or is respectful, Nor even remotely welcome?
- Um...- Does it work for you, Randy?
Do women actually respond?
I mean, you're here.
I am literally on the verge
of getting a restraining order.
- Take it easy. - No, Randy.
- Take it easy. - No, Randy.
I have seen more angles of your penis
than I have of my ex-husband's.
Why didn't you look at your husband's penis more?
Because he's too busy
plunging it into a 22 year-old grad student
who he... apparently is also his cycling buddy.
Oh, how did I know that?
Because my mother called him and asked him.
- Oh, no. Oh, yeah.
- Mm-hmm. - You didn't want to know.
No, I did not want to know.
No, and now I do.
And I guess I just...
I guess I just wanted the marriage to fix itself.
I've never heard of a marriage fixing itself.
I've never heard of a marriage fixing itself.
Oh, and now he wants to sell the house.
The house that I paid for
and filled with all the pieces of our lives.
And then when it sells, then that's the end, right?
Then... that's it.
The end.
God, we might not have ever been...
right together, but...
I'm just not ready for that.
But, I mean, if you were never right together,
But, I mean, if you were never right together,
then why are you still, like, holding on?
Because then my mother will be right.
She said it would never last.
[sighs] And it didn't.
And if you keep the house, then she'll be what?
Less right?
She could tell me she's sorry.
She could tell me she's sorry.
We spend our whole lives
waiting for our parents to apologize.
They spend theirs waiting for a thank you.
Neither of us ever gets what we want.
Hm.
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