Notes

It's not that I want to harass you or anyone else - it's just I'm going through a lot of my own internal struggles - anxiety (Something I've dealt with long before we started talking, from secondary school onwards), depression and the feeling of being lonely, things that are, at the moment, beyond my control, because this affects me I forget how I'm perceived by other people and become dependent on reaching out to them
and confiding in them. Unlike you, friendships and connections don't come easily to me and I spend a lot of time alone when I actually don't even want to or I still feel lonely due to past experiences even when I have my boyfriend and my family.

I really don't need you telling me that the way I was scared you and warning me that you'll call your lawyer because I don't like my habits either - and I often feel like it's my fault when people no longer want to be in my life which only makes me more insecure. For years, I've been used and I've felt as though people
don't take me seriously or want to form genuine friendships with me because they've replaced me with somebody else, lied to me or made sexual advances that I didn't want but wasn't assertive enough to say no to. Don't you think I have enough people talking about what they don't like about me and leaving me behind
- what about people who see past that enough to help me and give me opportunities to show a better side of myself?

I can't get in touch with Kyle because he's giving me the silent treatment, even if I do apologize or be reasonable, he won't respond, he hasn't responded for months. I'm even starting to question my own existence, it's like how I feel doesn't matter and I bet my lucky stars that's my fault as well and I deserved being stonewalled when I'm clearly stressed out and concerned for 5 months straight.

Perhaps you're not actually not aware of what happened... I self harmed.

I get what you're saying about low maintenance friendships but I had few people to confide in about this, it wasn't right that your friend left me high and dry after I reached this point without even asking me if I was okay at the very least.

Like I said I feel anxious, I overthink, I'm afraid people will leave me, people have left me in the past, taken advantage of me and treated me poorly, I experience low moods - it's never as simple as me just harassing others for the sake of it. The same way your past experiences have changed you - mine have changed me - but the difference is I depend on others.