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Look so i'm randomly depressed right now and i could really use a hug i don't know what wrong with me but i do at the same time and i want to cry but at the same time i hate it and i don't know how to feel and i just really wish i wasnt so gullible and stupid and i'm terrified to go to school but i cant tell my parents that and i cant tell anyone that but i am terrified because all the rumors everyone looks at me and i feel like they all talk about me and it scares me im scared to not know how people feel and i just want everyone to disappear i want to disappear i just want to swallow another half bottle of pills and vomit my guts out till i cant breathe choke an die. i plaster a cute little on my face i have all this fake energy when really i could care less. if i lay in bed i dont want to move im unmotivated and i hate myself,my body,my hair,my face,my everything im disgusting and im worthless and i want to know why people hate me or dislike me i know im annoying and i talk shit but im really insecure about myself and if i could id become an introvert and never leave and sit bye myself on my couch and not move to eat or move to use the restroom or do anything id let myself die and id be happier that way and when i think i'm doing great im not because someone else fucks it up and i dont want to be fucked over and i just want to be happy and i want to stay happy but it's hard to be happy and all i want is to be hugged and told its okay and who ever tells me that i want them to stay with me forever but last time that happened i was lied to and thrown into the street basically i hate it myself my actions me i hope i fucking get shot

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