Notes

Setting: The set of the movie 'Baby Mama' in the scene where Kate Holbrook (Tina Fey) is talking to Angie Ostrowiski (Amy Poehler) in her living room. Tina, still dressed as her character, Kate, takes a break from shooting the particular scene to talk to a group of college students who came to their set to learn about the characters in the movie.

Costume: White long sleeves with a black skirt, curled hair with eye glasses, concealer used to draw the scar on the face

Intro:
Good morning students! I want to formally introduce myself to all of you. My name is Elizabeth Stamantina Fey, or Tina. Tina is cool too. I've played many different roles in movies and shows such as Ms. Norbury a.k.a. "the sad old drug pusher" from Mean Girls, Claire Foster from Date Night, Liz Lemon from 30 Rock, impersonating Sarah Palin in Saturday Night Live and of course, my character right at this moment, Kate Holbrook from Baby Mama. I hope you've all seen AT LEAST one of those shows or movies. (pauses and looks around the audience) What? What are you looking at? (looks confused) Ahh. (points at scar) this? My scar? Well, most people never ask how or why i got it but if it comes up, the dumb ones would say "Did a cat scratch you?" (sighs) (shakes head) Those sweet dumb moments never gets old. Anyway, I'll skip the gruesome details and tell you that it was when I was in elementary, in the alley behind my house and a stranger slashed my face. (slashes face in the air) Yup. Just like that. Anyway, enough about my scar. Let me tell you about the happier part of my life, you know, the one that involves less blood. So, I'm from Upper Darby, Pennsylvania and the youngest of a family of four, which consists of my Dad, my Mom and my older brother, who looked out on me as my third parent. My dorky childhood basically consisted of a bob cut with bangs, perms and unplucked eyebrows. (puts up picture from elementary) (points to picture) Pretty much what all the boys wanted. (puts up picture from university) Now with this one, you could say that I finally discovered what a mirror was. Although, I think I was still confused as to where the camera was. Or maybe it was just because looking into the camera while the picture is being taken is too mainstream. Anyway, this photo was taken after I graduated from University of Virginia in 1992 where I studied drama. It wasn't long after I moved to Chicago to study improv in the comedy training ground, Second City. I chose to study it because I love the idea of two actors on stage with nothing - no costumes, no sets, no dialogue - who make up something together that is completely real to everyone in the room. Undoubtedly, studying improvisation literally changed my life. It set me on a career path toward Saturday Night Live. It changed the way I look at the world and it is where I met my husband, Jeff.

Body:
Now, I want you to imagine you're inside Lorne Michael's office in 1997 because you are about to witness (emphasizes) THE moment that changed my life forever. That was when I flew from Chicago to New York to interview for a writing position Saturday Night Live. I remember walking up to the security guard of the building (stands up and walk up to a corner) saying "I'm here to see Lorne Michaels." I couldn't believe what I just said. "I'm HERE to see Lorne Michaels". I was living the dream. It must have been how people felt when they really do go to school naked (air quotes) "by accident". I went up to the seventeenth-floor offices and I sat on a couch (sits on chair) and waited for my interview with Lorne. (looks at watch) About an hour passed until Lorne arrived. The only advice anyone has actually ever given me about Lorne was (shakes head) "Never finish
his sentences". An actress that I know from Chicago apparently made that mistake and she believe that it cost her the job. So during the interview, the first thing he said was.. "So you're from..." (pause) and it seemed to hang there forever. I thought, if I answered his question, wouldn't it count as my talking over him? Five seconds went by and not another word came out of him. I convinced myself that when people ask me about how my interview went, I'll say "He said 'So you're from' and then we sat there for an hour and then a girl came
in and asked me to leave". But realistically, after about ten seconds, I couldn't take it anymore so I blurted out "Pennsylvania. I'm from Pennsylvania". I couldn't remember anything the rest of what happened in the meeting because all I did was stare at the nameplate on his desk that says "Lorne Michaels" and I kept thinking, "I can't believe that I'm in his office! It's the guy with the Beatles check!" Strangely enough, (shrugs) I got the job! I strongly believe that part of the reason why I got the job was because of my humour. Even today, every once in a while, Lorne would tell me how happy he is of what I've accomplished and that my bubbly personality and my great sense of humour had always been the key to his heart.

Closure:
That moment was a very important one to me because if that did happen, I would not be where I am today. That being said, I became a writer for the show for two years, then in 1999, McKay, who was the previous head writer, stepped down of his position and passed the job onto me. I then decided to lose all the jiggling that occurred in my body which led me to performing in sketches in 2000. Fast forwarding to 2006, I became a writer and I also played a role of the protagonist Liz Lemon, in the show 30 Rock. Although everyone in
the show, including the audience most likely, thought that 30 Rock would not make it far, we won threeEmmys. I myself, won eight Emmy Awards, two Golden Globe Awards, five Screen Actors Guild Awards,
four Writers Guild of America Awards and has been nominated for a grammy award for the book I wrote, Bossy Pants. (holds up the book) Despite those awards, the ones that I'm most thankful for, of course, is my family. As cheesy as this sounds, I have a loving and understanding husband and I am so lucky to be blessed with two beautiful angels, Alice and Penelope. Although some people see me as "an ugly, pear-shaped, overrated troll", which was sent to me though internet by the way (rolls eyes), I want to be remembered that ugly, pear-shaped, overrated troll who is also a human being who puts a smile on people's lovely faces. Or at least tries to. At the end of the day, that's what it all comes down to. I don't want people remembering me just because they see me on T.V. I want them to know that I'm not any different from them. We're all the same. Except for maybe my scar.