Notes

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like slugs.

Stranger: Hey there

You: hello

You: slugs are great

You: are you the same slugfriend as last time

Stranger: People don't give them enough credit

Stranger: And I highly doubt that I am

You: great

You: would you still like slugs if they were twice your size?

You: i think i still would

Stranger: It'd certainly change some things but absolutely

You: i would get under them and fall asleep in all that slimy soft slugmeat

You: i might suffocate

You: but thats a small price to pay

Stranger: I might be worried about that myself yeah

You: their little appendages would look great at twice the size

Stranger: I'd definitely be looking into bathing in their slime though

You: i wonder how slugs mate

You: im going to look it up right now in fact

Stranger: It's just as weird and slimy as you might imagine

Stranger: I think they're mostly hermaphroditic

You: oh fuck they are all up in eachother cuddling

You: thats amazing

You: i wish i was a slug

You: their dicks are on their faces

You: amazing

Stranger: You'd have a lot less to worry about as a slug, that's for sure

Stranger: Find a cute slug to breed

Stranger: Avoid birds

You: damn

You: i like birds too

You: cant i be a slug that is of friendly relationships with the birds

Stranger: Well, if slugs were giant I don't think birds would ever consider eating them

Stranger: So yeah you could have all sorts of bird friends

You: i could eat them instead

Stranger: Hahaha, if you could catch them, absolutely

Stranger: They'd probably get caught up in your thick slime quite easily

You: slugs are known for their speed and finesse

You: i would have no issues whatsoever

Stranger: Of course even if you were a regular sized slug you could just be extra colourful

Stranger: Birds wouldn't eat you if you looked poisonous

You: or i could be regular looking and poisonous

You: i dare them to try

Stranger: Hahaha

You: anyways

Stranger: You know if you were a slug I might be tempted to keep you

You: i am sadly not a slug

You: it was great talking with you

You: ill be going off now

Stranger: Righto, enjoy

You: farewell slugfriend

You: <3