Notes

:I can only see you...I only keep thinking of you.:

I knocked on the door. :His: door. Honestly, he could probably tell I was trembling just by how shaky my knock was. How nervous I was in that moment was probably really unreasonable, because I’ve known him for more than 10 years now.

It took a while for him to open it. I sort of started to wonder if something was wrong. Always been a worrywart.

“Apollo! Hey!” That bright smile...the one that had gotten me through so many hard times. The one I loved so much!

“H-Hey, Clay. Um, I...” Oh my God. I am so damn awkward. But I had to tell him, right? There was no way around it. He was leaving eventually. I had to confess to him before he did.

“Something wrong? C’mon, come in. Tell me here.” He sat me down on his couch. How did he always know? I always knew when he was sad, too, but am I really that transparent? Or are we just...

“Well, I...There’s, um. Something I’ve :really: been needing to tell you. It’s important, so please...don’t laugh.” I was being usually serious with him. I could tell he was worried.

“Okay, shoot! Don’t worry, I won’t laugh. You know I wouldn’t.” He wouldn’t. But that’s more hard to believe when I think about saying how much I love him. And yes, I love him like that. Obviously.

“Ugh...um, I...This is gonna be really embarrassing. I’m so sorry. You can stop being friends with me if you want I’mreallysorryifyouhatemeafterthisI-“

“Apollo, calm down! Are you okay? I promise...I swear on my life. I would never stop being friends with you. Ever.” He put his hand on my shoulder, and somehow, that calmed me down.

“O-Okay...I...Clay, I really...I l-....I love you.” Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

“Well, yeah! Obviously! I love you too!” God damn it.

“No, I...Clay...” At this point I think my face probably looked like someone had beaten me up.

“Wait. Apollo...No way. You mean...? You mean like that?!?” Now he was really going to hate me.

“Uh...if you won’t...hate me, then yes.”
Why do I do this to myself?

“Oh my God...Apollo, holy shit! I can’t believe it! You should have told me sooner! I love you too!” At this point he was basically yelling. I even pinched myself a couple times. I never expected him to be so...enthusiastic.

“Really?!? I mean...are you serious? Like, I-“

He kissed me. I let out a really disgusting surprised noise, but none of that matter because ohmygodclayterranjustkissedmethisisalliveeverwanted. It was a relatively short kiss, because we still had things to talk about.

“How long?!? How long have you liked me?” His ocean blue eyes were sparkling brighter than ever before. I did that. That’s something I’m still proud of to this day.

“Hoo boy. A-A long time, to say the least. Well, how about you?” I was still trembling.

“Ever since we met! You’ve always meant so much to me, Apollo! H-Hey, are you okay...? Did I say something wrong?”

“Huh? Oh, I...Yeah. I’m fine! More than fine.” I hadn’t even realized I was crying.

“Perfect! I suppose you wouldn’t mind me doing this, then...” He kissed me with a passion I’d never seen even him express before. I think I caught a little tear fall from his eye, too.

This lasted for...god, at least 5 minutes. But if I said it wasn’t the best 5 minutes of my life it’d be a bold-faced lie.

I genuinely couldn’t believe this was happening.

“Clay, I...You’re so wonderful. You know that? You’re the kindest person I have :ever: met. You care about me so much. It makes me so happy!” I was reeeally crying at this point. How could I not? He started to giggle. So damn cute.

“I was trying to think of a joke to tell...but I’m like, totally blank.”

“Good.”

“Hey! Anyway, you’re wonderful too! More wonderful than me anyway. I love you so much. When we look at the stars together all I feel is pure love for you. I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you.” Wow...he was getting really romantic.

“Don’t worry about it! Seriously. I’m just glad we get to be...wait. What are we, now?”

“Well, if you’d be okay with it...you wanna be my boyfriend?”

“Yes. Yes! Oh my God! Am I dreaming? I-“

He cut me off with a very intense hug. I rested my chin on his shoulder and felt like staying there for the rest of my life.

“I love you.”

“I love you more!” Hearing those words come out of his mouth was like some kind of drug but also infuriating. So just drugs, pretty much.

“No way! Why can’t you just say ‘I love you too’?”

“Hey, you’re the one who’s got it all wrong, dude! You’re supposed to say ‘I love you more’!”

“I-I was gonna. Okay? I was going to!”

“Right. Okay.”

“Shut up! Just...kiss me. Idiot.”

“Dickhead.”

And in that moment, I felt complete. A part of me had been missing this whole time, but we’d finally come together. And I couldn’t be happier.