Notes

One of my favorite jokes is:
There's three guys and they have bricks, they want to see who can throw a brick up into the air the highest, but they can't tell from the ground how high they are going to go up.
The ground is all muddy so one guy says, "Hey, if we throw them high enough we will see how far they sink into the mud, and whoever's brick sinks the farthest threw it up the highest."
The first guy takes his brick and throws it up in the air, it comes down and sinks like a foot in the mud.
The second guy says, "I can beat that.". He takes his brick throws it up and it goes 3 feet in the mud.
The last guy goes, "I can beat that.", he throws it up and it doesn't come down.

So the other joke I like is:
There's this woman that wants to travel to visit her mother and she wants to bring her parrot with her because her mother loves her parrot, but the only ticket she can afford is on a no-parrot, no-smoking airline. She thinks, "I can get away with this." So she takes the parrot and puts it in her jacket, and sneaks it onto the plane. So she's on the plane and everything is going great, you know, the plane took off and they are at a cruising altitude. Then the pilot walks back, he comes walking down the aisle, saying hello to everybody, and he's smoking this big cigar (obviously he's not supposed to). So he comes walking down the aisle, and he stops at her seat. He asks, "How are you enjoying the flight?", she said "Fine, everything's great." He goes, "Well we will be there on time so everything should be fine." She says, "Thank you very much.", and as the pilot is leaving he hears, *muffled squawking* "Polly want a cracker?" "What was that?", he asks. "Nothing!", she says. *muffled squawking* "Polly want a cracker?" "You have a parrot in your coat!", he exclaims. "No I don't!", she states. He rips it open, and there's the parrot. He grabs the parrot, "You're not allowed to have a parrot on this flight!", he exclaims. She grabs the cigar out of his mouth, "You're not allowed to have a cigar on this plane!". "No parrots allowed!", he opens the window and throws out the parrot. "Well you can't have a cigar!", annd throws the cigar out the window. He goes storming off back to the cabin, and she sits in her seat so mad because her parrot got thrown out of the plane. He's back up there flying the plane again. Suddenly he hears *knocking* and he turns around and looks out the window, and there's the parrot waving at him, and guess what it's got in it's mouth?
"The cigar you?", you might ask. No, it's the brick.