Notes

HEYYY Leen superwoman,

Hope you got your tea ready because what Im going to say is very VERY crazy because Im very nervous at this exact moment, I dont know what to say or how to say it but Im just going to write what I think and feel of.

Leen, I dont know how to explain this, but lets just say you're the only person I would feel so fucking bad if I lie to.
You're the only person that made me think about my future (other than my mum when she be like "estanna 3alai, wallah la2a7ki la abouk" HAHAHAHA).

Leen, I am a fuckboy that really liked your looks the moment you accepted my follow request on Instagram, I literally had my mouth open(not kidding).

You posted your snapchat twice, first time I really wanted to add you but in the same time I DIDNT WANT TO SEEM LIKE A FUCKBOY BECAUSE IDK, second time I took 1-2 hours of overthinking to either add you or not I was smh khalas stop being a pussy, guys add her all the time.

And then it all started when you texted me, I was so fucking scared that you'll be from those girls who think they're too good for anyone.

I forgot our firsts convo stfu mush lahadarajeh ana, hakulek 3anni el 7aj Romeo ana?

Elmuhem every conversation we had was heavenly pure happiness, I never liked you like the actual you until we talked, 3 days in and I feel something weird, i couldn't explain it, I usually take too long to reply but with you I seem to forget about anything else????? ALL IT TOOK YOU 4 DAYS TO HAVE ME BACKFLIPPING FOR YOU.

I started telling my bestfriend about you, and day by day it started to grow, I felt like "you're the one omg wow im so lucky" lmao jk u piece of cute shit, I just realized how lucky I am to have you in my life, fears getting bigger and bigger, the way you texted me got me so confused, the first time you said "a guy that likes my make up and has good music taste or something" HAHAHA SORRY IM A BAD GUY BUT yeah man I was like damn she likes me already? i kept overthinking all night that day until I convinced myself you dont like me.
BUT THEEEENNNN YOU CAME UP WITH THE "marry me" on your featured musically with 170K likes HAHAHAHAHAHA got me so fucking nervous you dont even know man, I was like "is she forreal?" "Is she being sarcastic?" "Does she really mean it?" Ofcourse i got those thoughts because it was the first time someone like you said that to me.
I was like okay act cool and sarcastic and shit. You got dis.

Annnndddd again overthinking, convinced myself you dont like me blah blah blaaaah(jk wallah about the blah blah blah part)

And every day it kept getting more man LIKE HOW HOWWWWWWWW, HOW CAN SOMEONE MAGICALLY CHANGE ALL MY THOUGHTS ANOUT DATING AND SHIT, HOW.

Dude you dont even know, I even thought about the future.
What is it hiding for me?
A perfect life living with a perfect pure soul like you or a depressed life with failure all on me because I know for a fact you're a wife material, its just the nature we live in is not fit, not even close to fit.

Man I cant even fucking described how perfect you are. Mush 3ashan we have things alike, ITS JUST THE PURITY OF YOUR SOUL, DUDE YOU'RE SO KIND MINDED AND LOVINGLY- HOW IS IT POSSIBLE.

YOUR SMILE COULD FUCKING HEAL A GUNSHOT IN MY HEART(jk im trying to be romantic, what a fail lmao)
Seriously, your smile is worth a million dollars and I absolutely madly in love it, I always try to say that your real eyes look cuter because I never had the guys to tell you that they have a sparkle in them that I noticed on one of your snaps once.

Man I dont even know how to get my thoughts straight, everythings messed up.

Like every time you say "lets get married" MY HEART SOMETIMES LITERALLY STINGS LIKE HOW, how could someone as perfect as you-like a flawed fucking shit like me,

Every time you tell me about a past guy confessing to you about his crush, especially salem, made me so nervous, ITS JUST YOU DROP HINTS THEN SHOW IT AS ITS FAKE AND IT WAS JUST YOU BEING SARCASTIC.

15 minutes left and all I want to tell you is that you're the most beautiful person Ive ever truely liked, I want to say that Ive told 6 people about you, I went fucking crazy on them, Including Lujian, I told her about you because I liked you, I liked you so much that I made her like every single detail i told her about you.

Remember when I started acting all salem and stuff? Yeah that was half real, by half real I mean I was too much of a scared cat to tell you it was real (although the :')s were sarcastic and I would never fucking do that unless im really sad and it expresses my face)

Dude Im too scared to say I love you because love is such a strong emotion that I might never ever be sincere to you with because of how much I lie.

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not to twist them and fit them into our own image. Otherwise we love on the reflection of ourselves we find in them"

This quote explains me, and this why you got me in 4 days.

This will sound stupid but here goes nothing.
The reason I never told you about that dream because I had a nightmare about me coming to ask for your hand and your father disapproves because I wasnt good enough, and because we used to talk, and from that point he used to follow you everywhere in your life, made your life so bad I woke up, I read that text, about we have to stop talking and suddenly felt like its all coming up and maybe its just a thing from the future? i dont know man.

I just dont want to lose you and dont want to make your life alot worse than it is, its like pulling me apart.

I dont want myself to be ever the reason behind your tears, or depressed bad life.

This might seem like a love letter, but its just me being sincere

*ba3ed kul had tel3at mush love letter? Yegta3 sharrak had keef law love letter? Askham men The notebook* HAHAHAHAHA

I will not reply to anything you say right now because I know I wont sleep either if you reject me or feel the same about me.
Im so sorry I have to write this at night when its you're sleep time but you made me do it, and I really dont want to let you down.

Ps, I lied 2 times in this, overthink wisely HAHAHAHA JK WALLAH

Good night,
Leen Najjar